I didn't hate Father's Day. I hated the reaction when asked, "What will you draw for your dad?"
"Uh, don't have one. Guess I can make one for Grandpa."
The staggered looks were what got me most. Back then, two parent families were the norm, not blended or single parent families. Then also would come the questions.
"Where is he?"
"Is he dead?"
"Where does he live now?"
All of these I really had no answer for. I wasn't even sure what he looked like. And to explain, or try to explain the stories I'd heard were far worse than keeping silent with a slight shrug of the shoulder.
Had to make him leave...
Hurt mom once to many times...
Never wanted children...
Then one day, one particular Father's day, someone said the right thing at the right time...
"It's OK, honey. God can be the father you don't have, if you'll let him. . ."
Eyes glazed with hope. "Really?"
I was old enough, I guess, to take that to heart. I've never felt fatherless again.
And so began my relationship with my Heavenly Daddy. All I had to do was accept his son Jesus into my life. Then I had a Dad and a best friend. Later, they introduced me to the Holy Spirit, my comforter and guide along life's journey.
I made a Father's Day card this year. As I thought about what kind of picture I could draw, I saw him holding me as a babe. Even then, He was there. I was never supposed to be born. Mom wasn't able to have children. Like Hannah, she petitioned God until he relented and gave into her wish.
Over the years, my heart has connected with His heart. The things I love about him are numerous like the stars. In my picture, I wrote only a few of those qualities I adore about him. The picture could never hold all of them:
Giver of grace and mercy
Has a vision for my future
Dream maker and giver...
Not long ago, when I was going through a particular difficult time, I sought prayer. During that time, God spoke Psalm 139 over me. I wrote the words in the robe because they now surround me and cover all I do and all I believe.
God, investigate my life, search me and know me...
You are familiar with all my ways...
You know my going out and my lying down
Where can I go and get away from you? NOWHERE!
No matter where I go, you are there
You created my innermost being...
Knit me together...
I am wonderfully made!
This and so much more.
My life has never been the same since that day. He's been my constant companion in all things.
I love him more than life itself.
Blessed am I to have such a father.
I do hope He likes my card. And I hope it ends up on his fridge with all His other favorite pictures.