A New Thing

I wanted to give an update on what's been going on with my job situation.

God works all things out for the good, time and time again.

I've began a side venture, focusing more on my writing. It's tugging at me again, that need to create, to say something. So I've decided to give the next year to putting 100% into making a living at writing. I'm learning to do freelance magazine writing, and continue to work on my novels. And I'm chronicling my journey along the way.

On the sidebar is a picture of my laptop and a link to my new site, Jackie Castle's Story. You'll see a lighter side of me as I talk about this new crazy venture I find myself on.

In the meantime, I told you last week that I was going to be able to substitute. Well, I'm official now, with a badge and a long-term job. So the next couple of months will be interesting. I'm praising God that he's made a way that I can pay my bills while I work toward my writing goal.

I hope you'll stop by my writing site and see what I'm up to.
I'm still here, though, sitting under my quiet tree, listening to Holy Whispers teach. I can't do anything without Him and His guidance. It all starts at the foot of the tree.

Blessings,
J.

Wanted to share this video while you're here. I love this song. And I'm glad that no matter what's going on, I have a closest friend until the bitter end. Enjoy!

My God is such an Awesome God!

OK, I just have to brag on God's kindness and Mercy and for being patient with his whiny children.

Tuesday morning, I was writing in my journal, talking about figuring out bills and thinking about writing the magazine ideas I had. My planned subbing job that I'd been counting on to supplement my income had fell through. I was jobless and after this last check wasn't sure how I'd get my bills paid. Even if I did begin publishing, it would take awhile to receive the money.

Yet, I've determined I will trust God in all this. That He does have good plans to prosper and not bring harm. I believe it, but when I'm sitting in front of my checkbook... well, you know.

I'd actually written these words:
"More than anything, I want to be in your will and I'm just uncertain right now. And I'm scared. And I hate that I'm not helping to support my family right now when Bob is working so hard."

Perhaps it was the sheer honesty of my words that changed things, I don't know.
But as I went about my day, I began to feel compelled to go up to the sub office and ask to be put on the list.

Let's get something straight, Jackie doesn't like like going anywhere and asking for anything. I get nervous and tongue tied and ... well, it's just embarrassing. But the thought wouldn't' go away.

About noon, I began to have his conversation with myself. Or maybe it was with God. Either way, this is what I heard:
"You belly-ache over not having a job. But when given a possible solution, you whine that you don't want to do that. For Pete's sake!"

Yes, I often say for Pete's sake to myself. I don't know why.

That did it. I decided, fine, I was going. I would just get my purse, drive up to the office and walk right in. I would just do it. I had nothing (seriously) to lose.

The whole time, that inner voice was saying, "Good, just go. Great, see ya. YOU HAVEN'T LEFT YET!!?"

So I went up there, told the man my story about how I'd been an aide last year and quit so I could sub and now I couldn't sub because there was so many people..."

When he heard I was a former employee, he took me into his office, looked up my application and said he would fit me in.

Wow!

I'm going to get to sub after all. All the worry-ful weight I'd been carrying slid off my back and dissipated like mist. Honest. I felt lighter. I would have a means of supporting myself while I wrote. My bills could still be paid. Praise God.

That's all I could do on the way home. Praise Him.

Praise Him and get to writing, which I've done. With a renewed sense of vigor and enthusiasm.

And that, my friends, is how truly Awesome the God I serve is.

Blessing,
J.

It's My Birthday... Again.

Just like one season after the next, these birthdays just keep rolling around. And now, here's another one and I'm wondering who do I write to unsubscribe?

Think I'd be happy to stay at the year I'm at. It's been all right. Not one of my best, but not one of my worst, either.

Actually, a friend posted this on my facebook wall:

HaPpY bIrThDaY

And I thought, Gosh, that looks like a roller coaster, which is kind of what this year has been like.

So that seemed appropriate.

And I'm thinking that Man's best laid plans really must be a joke to God. I mean, I had a plan. I knew where I was going and what I was going to do this year and that darned roller coaster took a sharp turn I didn't see coming.

I remember a scene from the movie Parenthood with Steve Martin where the grandma is talking about how some people like the merry-go-round. (I had my hand up saying, "Oh, me, me!) While some love the dips and turns of the roller coaster. She, on the other hand, had found the roller coaster more exciting.

I beg to differ. I've never been a roller coaster fan. Never. I even hated the kiddy ones when I was young.

Yet... I guess, in the long run, the dips and turns are what makes life interesting.

Well, here's to another InTeReStInG year!

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do,
everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track.
(Prov. 3:5&6 MSG)

Take-Away Value: The Twilight Series

OK, I admit it, I'm a huge Twilight fan.

And I'm kind of tired of getting flack for that, without people bothering to ask me WHY I'm such a fan.

This isn't my regular manner of post, but I've been thinking of doing something different on Fridays anyway. So, since this is my blog and my place to state my thoughts, I'm going to explain what I see in these teen-crazed books that might help you see things in a different light... or Twilight, or by a New Moon, or ...

Well, let's get on with this.

I got into Meyer's series because of my teenage daughter. She wanted to read them, and I'd heard mixed reviews about the stories. And knowing, at the age of 16, if she wanted to read something, she would find a way. So I bought a copy as well.

Twilight literally grabbed me by the shirt front and dragged me through the story of an unlikely couple and it didn't let me go until the very last page. Dazed and confused, I picked up the next one and was even more hooked as Edward- the vampire boyfriend- leaves Bella- the human main character and a bit of a twit. (if you ask me.) I honestly couldn't put them down until the end. As the books got longer, that became bothersome.

What really got me, wasn't the intense action - there was none at first. Nor the intriguing literary style - her stories are very easy reads. But the story beneath this twisted love story.

The Take-Away Value:

The first thing that intrigued me was the vampire family themselves. There's a scene in the first book when Bella comes to meet the vamp family. I thought it was funny how they're making her a dinner and the underlying tension is everyone is hoping she doesn't become the main dish.

Sorry, let me get back on track.

Edward begins to explain how none of them chose this life. Carlisle, the "father figure" of the clan, was actually a pastor's son. When he became a vampire, Carlisle fought against what he'd become. In the book Twilight, Edward explains how Carlisle found he could satisfy his hunger by feeding on animals and realized, "He could exist without being a demon. He found himself again." (pg. 337 Twilight)

As the others were turned, they too didn't wish to be demons. Hating the life they now found themselves born into, they found another way to exist without harming humans, without causing damage. Though, their choice came at a sacrifice on their part. It was a sacrifice they found they could live with.

I've pondered over this story for some time. Being a teacher in a title 1 school, I've come across many children from low socio-economic homes, plagued with drugs, gangs and little hope of making much of themselves. Working with these kids is a big challenge because they have little drive to learn academics when their main concern is what they will eat when they get home, if they have a home when they get out of school and what chaos will they face when they walk in the door.

Yet I see them, some even as young as fourth graders, carrying around these books. When I get a chance, I like to sit down and say, "Hey, you know what I really like about that story?" First, they are usually impressed that I've even read it, and second that I actually like them. But it opens a door for discussion about rising out of whatever bad circumstances we find ourselves in and making choices to do the right thing.

Stephenie Meyer has created a story world where Choice is what makes or breaks you. Where sacrifice and selfishness are in constant battle with each other, and isn't that true in real life?

Edwards view on the sanctity of marriage is often at odds with Bella's more modern view of young romance. There's a scene in Eclipse where they are arguing over the issue of marriage. Bella is dead (excuse the pun) set against it. But Edward, being from another place and time, remembers the value of it when he says, "I was that boy, who would have -- as soon as I discovered that you were what I was looking for -- gotten down on one knee and endeavored to secure your hand. I would have wanted you for eternity, even when the word didn't have quite the same connotations." (pg. 277 Eclipse)

I liked how he desired Bella, but even more, desired to have something real, despite the unreality of their situation, something lasting and committed. When I talk to young girls about relationships, I want to point out that Edward had it right. It's more than just sex, more than just "being together" its deeper than that. It's a commitment. A commitment that last for one's eternity.

Opening Doors to Discussion:

Most importantly, I'm glad that I took the time to read these books because of the opportunity it's created to discuss some deep issues with my daughter s. Like how Bella is a bit too worshipful of Edward, and too careless about her soul. Not every part of the books speak good, as I said earlier, I find Bella to be somewhat of a twit. However, it's created some great debate about her and other characters and what they stand for.

Maybe, as parents and educators, we need to not slam to door to things we haven't read ourselves. I encourage parents to monitor what their children read, but understand, if they are older, it's nearly impossible to keep them from reading what they want. I could have avoided the book, but I would have missed out on a chance to connect with my teenager and other young kids as well.

So that, in a nutshell, my friends is why I'm a Twilight fan.

Be blessed and if you feel the need to respond, please do. I only ask that you keep your words kind and not condemning.

Thanks,

J.

It's been awhile...

Once again, I've let posting to my blog lapse. . .

Life has taken me on a meandering side trail this summer. I began stressed over finding a job until I finally realized that since I've put my life in God's hands, He is the one calling the shots. And He has a plan, and it'll be a good plan... when it's all said and done.

I'll tell more about this later.

For now, I want to tell you what I've been up to.

I've been giving my house a make over. It all started with wanting to paint and make our bedroom a relaxing place with a bit of romantic flair. (I'll post pictures of it in a later post.) Just when I was nearly done, I woke up one morning with the words, "If you change the atmosphere of your home, it will bring about a change in attitudes as well."

I asked a few friends if they felt this was a true statement, and they felt that there was truth to it. So I began looking around and seeing possibilities. . . .

At times, I feel I should be doing other things. Like getting out more and doing summery type stuff. But it's really hot and there's nowhere we really want to go.

Or I should be writing more... but I've been dry of words lately.

Definitely, I should be looking for work... unfortunately, there simply isn't many positions and those that are open are being filled by people who have more experience. Of course.

However, decorating ideas flow like spring water after a heavy rain.

Thoughts and worries about Tomorrow often come banging on my door. I peer out and consider them a moment, but have refused to let them in.

Sometimes, I think, the best thing one can be doing is to simply BE.

BE in the moment.

BE there to listen.

BE flexible.

BE at peace and rest in the truth that the God of this universe promises to take care of our lives.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about
itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

So, in the enthusiasm of turning my house upside down, and working on changing attitudes: both inside and out... the days have flew by. I'm living in the moment. Or trying my best. And this moment seemed to call for me to stop in here and visit awhile.

Who knows where the next turn of the clock will take me. . . .

J.

Because God said so...

Learning to hear God...
Listening to that still small voice that comes from the deepest part of my spirit...

Trusting that what I hear in my spirit is true, and real...

And not something conjured up.

This is especially hard for a writer who lives most of her days engaged within her imagination.

Yet, Hannah Hurnard said in her book, The Winged Life that imagination is the gift God gives his children to help them connect to him.

I think back to those in the Bible who were able to connect with God Almighty. Moses whom God told to lead his people out of bondage. Abraham who was told to sacrifice his own son to show his love for God was greater than that of his only son. Or how about the many prophets, or Jesus himself who never did anything he didn't see the Father doing or instructing first.

Why is it so hard to believe God wants to speak to us in the same manner today? And when He does, why do we pepper ourselves with doubt and fears that we've gotten it wrong?

I know that in my spirit, I can hear God. Many times the things I've heard ended up coming true. Yet there are those few times. Like when it seems he wants you to reach out to a friend and that friend is unresponsive. Or you've been told to do something and it seems pointless. A waste of time.

And I'm left thinking, "Oops, I must have missed it."

But did I? Hard to say.

What I do know is that God is faithful. "I am God," he says in Isa. 43:13. "Yes and from ancient day I am he. No one can deliver out of my hand. When I act, who can reverse it?"

So I suppose that if God decides something is going to be, who can change it? Maybe we don't always hear exactly right. Perhaps we misunderstand. But if he's made up his mind about how something will work, then I simply need to trust that he will work it out for the best. His way. As he sees fit.

And that's exactly what I'm going to do.

J.