In Still Places

Taking a Break

2011-06-07T08:12:00.000-05:00

Hello Friends,
For those of you who have been following this blog and reading my post, you may have noticed lately that I've had to re-post old pieces, or skip days that I normally blog.

Over the past year, I've been on a journey of putting all I have into my writing. As the year is coming full circle, I've become rather busy trying to make ideas come to life and earning a living at the same time.

Also during this year, I've had to learn discipline and how to manage my time. Some things simply have to be set aside for a season, and this is one of the things I've decided to set down. For now. At least for the summer while I build a new project and work toward making freelancing my main source of income.

I'll keep the blog up and running. Please feel free to revisit old post, I think the lessons are universal and never grow old.

I'd also love for you to visit my writing blog: Scribbles where I'll continue posting at least once a week on this years writing journey and what I'm learning along the way.

My new project can be found at In A Castle Faraway. My goal is to encourage a love of reading by offering parents and teachers ideas on how to make books come alive. I'll be introducing new children's books as I come across them, including an occasional novel and mid-level reader, and providing discussion questions, activities for free and for sale and author/illustrator information.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for visiting here, for reading and sharing with me. I appreciate you all. And I do hope to return to In Still Places sometime in the future.

God bless,
Jackie C.

Wonderment Wednesday - John 10

2011-06-01T06:37:00.001-05:00

A shepherd enters through the gate.

The gatekeeper opens the gate for him and the sheep hear his voice and come to him.

He calls hiw own sheep by name and leads them out.

After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they recognize his voice.

They won't follow a stranger;

they will run from him because

they don't recognize his voice.

John 10:2-5 (NLT)

Wonderment Wednesday - Deuteronomy 32

2011-05-25T09:24:00.000-05:00

He found him in the wilderness,

in an empty, windswept wasteland.

He threw his arms around him, lavished attention on him,

guarding him as the apple of his eye.

He was like an eagle hovering over its nest,

overshadowing its young,

Then spreading its wings, lifting them into the air,

teaching them to fly.

God alone led him;

(Deuteronomy 32:10-11 MSG)

Still Reflections: Pruning

2011-05-24T06:27:00.000-05:00

Neglected...

My fault, completely. I'd waited for the perfect weather. Waited for the spare time. Waited...for what I should have simply made time for.
Now one plant had completely dried up and withered away. The young basil would be next if I didn't intervene...and soon.

Leaves hung limp. Brown spots covered the yellowing ones. Dirt, hardened and caked, became unmanageable around the thinning stem.

This would be painful.

Recovered...

First I soaked the earthen pot in water to get the dirt loosened and workable again. Then, ever so slowly and carefully, I plucked off each damaged leaf, knowing to leave them would sap the plants limited strength. It would need all it had to disperse its roots into the ground I'd put it in.
Sweet basil scent tickled my nose, enticing taste-buds of delicious meals it would one day flavor. But not yet... Not these diseased, damaged leaves. Gloved hand opened, as crushed, pieces of possibilities fluttered into the trash bin.

Once done, it looked about as pathetic as my dogs on bath day, all scrawny and trembling in the breeze.

Exposed. Bare. Weak.

Finally, I set the fledgling plant into it's home in my garden, conditioning the dirt around it, readying the ground to receive its new occupant.

Then I hoped for the best.

Salvaged...

It seemed a harsh way to treat a plant. And as I worked, thoughts struck me as they often do while gardening....

How many times have I neglected my spirit?

How many times have I put off tending to it?

How many times had God needed to come in and prune off the dead, ignored growth in my heart?

Doesn't my spirit need good, fertile ground to take root in? Doesn't it need frequent drinks of His holy presence to quench thirst? Doesn't it require a strong Light presence to build up strength?

How many times have I found God plucking away the damaged parts of me?

I've been left feeling exposed, bare, weak...

Yet, despite how harsh it feels at the time, His loving hands work diligently to set me back in firm ground so I can grow strong again and produce what I've been created to produce.

Established...

Blessed is the man

who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked

or stand in the way of sinners

or sit in the seat of mockers.

But his delight is in the law of the Lord,

and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water,

which yields its fruit in season

and whose leaf does not wither.

Whatever he does prospers...Psalm 1:1-3 (NIV)

When We Hurt Eachother

2011-05-16T07:49:00.000-05:00

Does anyone really mean to hurt another?

I suppose, when we hurt, sometimes we lash out at others in our hurt and anger.
But purposefully? With intention? Not when it's someone we love.

Yet, it's the ones we love the most that we tend to hurt the most.
Like angry words at a child when they break something valuable.
Perhaps its a spouse who's not measuring up.
Maybe it's simply taking advantage of someone, forgetting they have feelings, or that they have their own issues they are dealing with.
Or it could simply be letting someone down who put their trust in you.
I don't know why this happens. But the more we love someone, the worse it feels when the hurt comes.

We forget our own humanness. We forget that people are fallible. And the only thing or person of perfection is God himself.

How can we avoid being hurt?

I don't think we can. We are human, and as we've been given the gift of love, so much comes within the pretty package: hurt, guilt, joy, fulfillment, failure, and so much more. We hurt because we love, actually. I just don't think there's any getting around it.

C.S. Lewis wrote:
"To love at all is to be venerable. To love anything and your heart will be
wronged and possibly broken. If you want to make sure to keep it in tact, then
you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully around with
hobbies, attachments and little luxuries, and avoid all entanglements. Lock your
heart up in a safe place like a casket or a coffin of selfishness. But in that
casket, safe and dark and motionless and airless, your heart will change. And it
will not be broken. Instead, it will become ungrateful... impenetrable...
irredeemable.... The only place outside of heaven where you can be perfectly
safe from all the dangers of love, is hell."

I hurt a friend's heart. And mine is broken as well. I cried many tears when it happened, and I'm sure they did as well in one way or another.

God gave me that friend and trusted me with a precious heart and I got careless. And it would be easy to blow it off, to say "Well, I apologized and they need to forgive and get over it." But it's not that easy. Sometimes we forget what a priceless gift friends are. We forget the price Jesus paid for us. As humans, we forget each other's value.

I never meant any harm. I made a very bad choice. Unwise. I had thought a lot about it, but I don't think I prayed it through enough. Or perhaps at all. That's so important. Involving God in all we do, especially when it concerns others. It's easy to run ahead and forget to not take a step until you have a tight grip on His hand.

Then your left with a thousand broken pieces and you wonder if it's possible to clean up such a mess. A mess I myself have created. And I don't suppose all the brooms and dustpans, all the superglue in the world can fix it. So I turn to God and ask for His intervention.

Father, I've made a big mess and I need your help to clean it up!

I sit and think of all the things I could have done differently. It's strange how much clearer all the should have dones are in hindsight.

I pray that time will heal what's been broken. That God will step in and repair the damage I've so carelessly caused. I pray for given another chance. And with that second chance, I'll take better care and remember what a gift friendship is. Something that shouldn't be taken lightly.

Father, teach us how to be good, solid friends. Help us remember to never forget what a precious treasure people are. We are all your children, and you love each and every one of us as if we were the only one on the face of the earth. Help us to value each other in that same way. Amen.

jc

A repost from the archives, because some things are worth repeating.

Grime and Beauty

2011-05-09T14:43:00.000-05:00

The price tag on the beat up old chair read $5. It had no seat. The wood was scratched, dirty, and banged up from misuse.

I thought...

I can fix this. It just needs some sandpaper, stain, polish. A seat!

Well, I thought I could.

About half way through sanding, then adding new stain, I stopped. The wood now felt smooth to my touch. The grain... oh, the beauty!

And I wondered...

When we come to God, do we look like the worthless chair? Probably.

Something the world has cast aside for trash. Yet He takes us and lovingly smooths down the rough places, cleans away the dirt and gives us a new finish. Or a new life. A new look. A new outlook. Soon, everything changes.

Value. Appreciation. Appearance. Functionality.

The chair did nothing. I did all the work. So does God. It's not by us cleaning ourselves up, but His skilled hand working in us.

The chair...? Well, look for yourselves.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Eph. 2:8-10 (NIV)

When Kindness Tumbles Out...

2011-05-02T10:01:00.000-05:00

Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'
This is the first and greatest commandment.
And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'
All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
Matt. 22:37-40

So much hangs on that word... Love. Love God with all you've got. Love your neighbor ...

I was reading in my Bible this morning. It's raining and I'm dragging about gettting out of bed. (Don't judge- lol).

As I flipped through the pages, a bookmark tumbled out, one I'd printed a few years back. The header read:

10 Ideas for Kindness

The bookmark came from a site http://www.randomactsofkindness.org/. It's still there, I just checked. Can't find the bookmarks, but there's lots of good stories and suggestions on ways to be kind. For instance, this week's suggestion is to be kind to someone you don't like. Humm... sounds like advice from the same person who said love God and love your neighbor. Didn't later he say, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you?"

Hummm... I think so.

So, the 10 Ideas, let me share them with you...

#1: Say hello
How hard is this sometimes? I'm a real introvert. It's hard, let me tell you. Yet, a simple smile and hello goes a long way when you're brave enough to do it. Such as calling or texting that friend or family member instead of waiting for them to text you. Yes? Yes.

#2: Visit a friend
This one isn't as hard. I enjoy hanging out with friends. Not real keen on visiting when they are sick, or down. Let's be honest here. Then it's kind of a drag. Or, how about visiting when you don't need something; like to pour out your frustrations, or to borrow something.
Like saying "hello" why is it so hard just to make the first move to appreciate someone? I don't know. I'd pull out my introvert card, but that excuse is getting kind of weak.

#3: Let another go first.
Yes, even on the highway when they cut infront of you. Instead of making rude gestures and shouting words only you and God can hear, will it really make us that much later to just let a few in? Yes, what they are doing is rude. Doesn't mean we need to sink to their level. And what about letting someone go in front of you that had a buggy full of groceries, instead of a few items? Wow, now thats a big one, J. That's asking too much. Yeah, maybe so. I'd be hard pressed to do it, too. But maybe, just once, you know? Just to see?

#4: Forgive mistakes
Ugh. Yet, aren't we commanded? Forgive to infintiy and beyond... basically. Forgive if we want to be forgiven. Ouch. Ugh. Drat.

#5: Share a smile
Easy peasy... unless I'm having a bad day. Better watch out then. My smile might look more like the Grinch's evil sneer as he planned to steal Whoville's Christmas. Just scary, people. But did you know, smiles, laughter and yawns are infectious? Try it sometime.

#6: Say hello
Hey, didn't we already cover this? Oh wait, maybe there's a reason it's posted twice. Think?

#7: Lend a hand
I'm hearing the song, "I'll be there, yah, yah, yah, you've got a friend..." Okay, corney, I know. These things just pop in my head. I have no control.
This one... sometimes it's real easy. But when I'm pressed for time... well, that's another story. Or when you feel like you're being taken advantage of. Or when you're dry and have nothing left to give. Need to involve God, ask for help and wisdom. I do, anyways. Jesus didn't heal everyone he passed, only the one's God told him to. We need to be the same.

#8: Be tolerant
There's that push-button "T" word. Fact is, folks, everyone deserves a chance to get to heaven. We are all sinners, and have been seperated from God. And God has done everything possible to close the gap of that seperation. He's done it for everyone of his children. Every one. Love the way He loves. It's the only way.

#9: Offer a hug
Can I wear a sign, "Need a hug, here!!" I suppose to get hugs, you need to give them. When you give them, more often than not, you'll be hugged back, right? Right?

And the last one...
#10: Do an act of kindness every day.
Oh, if only we would. All of us. Everyday. Every day. One thing. Just one. It certainly won't make the world a worse place, right? Right?

Yeah, I don't think so.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 2 Cor. 1:3-4

Father, help me to be a comfort, to show kindness, to have a giving heart in all things, every day, in many ways. Amen.

Be blessed,
J.

Wonderment Wednesday - Psalms 46

2011-04-27T08:24:00.000-05:00

God is our refuge and strength,

an ever-present help in trouble.

Therefore, we will not fear,
though the earth give away
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea

though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake at their surging

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God
the holy place where the Most High dwells

God is within her, she will not fall
God will help her at break of day.

Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
He lifts his voice, the earth melts.

The Lord Almighty is with us

The God of Jacob is our fortress.

Come and see the works of the Lord.

Psalms 46:1-8

Keeping Balance in a Crazily Tilting World

2011-04-25T09:00:00.000-05:00

"But I am afraid that just as Eve was decieved by the serpent's cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ." 2 Cor. 11:3

Typical day. Get out of bed, spend a few quiet moments journaling, thinking - usually about what I'm going to do that day, along with the standard prayer "God, where do I need to be going?" Follow this by jumping into the shower, getting dressed, the kids off to school, then rolling up my sleeves to tackle that To Do list I diligently wrote out the night before.

Typical next day? Get out of bed. A few moments of quiet time. Thinking. Asking... "Where do I need to be going." Followed by the standard shower, shove the kids off and schedule tackling. Back to a "New and Improved" To Do list.

I keep asking the same question. Sometimes, I wonder, am I asking the right question, though.

Rushing from one task to another, do I miss what's really important? Do I miss out on hearing God in my haste? Do I miss out on gifts He drops during the day? Like the bird's morning songs? The beauty of sunlight beaming across the dining table? The smile of one of my kids as they head off to school?

I'm trying so hard to stay balanced in this crazy, tiltling world.

But am I simply living for the now? Here in This Moment? Stopping to listen? Stopping to see? Waiting to hear?

Or do I keep rushing ahead, searching, yearning, wanting.
Wanting when right here. Right now....

"Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro.

He bustles about, but only in vain,

he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it.

But now, Lord, what do I look for?

My hope is in you."

Psalm 39:6-7

Wonderment Wednesdays

2011-04-20T06:38:00.000-05:00

Two are better than one,

because they have a good return for their work:

If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls

and has no one to help him up!

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.

But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

When You're Eye to Eye With a Tuna

2011-04-18T18:17:00.000-05:00

Be joyful always;
1 Thess. 5:16

When I got out of bed this morning, I wasn't too joyful. More like, overwhelmed and discouraged. As if I'd stepped out of bed into deep waters, I felt submerged in a sea of Way-To-Much-To-Do. My list of things I needed to accomplish flooded my heart, and as I walked around the house and saw how behind I was in taking care of things, I sank deeper into confusion and lack of direction.

How do I let myself get to where I'm eye to eye with a tuna?

pray continually;
1 Thess. 5:17

That's exactly what I began doing... praying. "Lord, how do I get all of this done? How do I focus my time, take care of my responsibilities, yet continue to do the task I need to do?

When you ask, a way out begins to reveal itself.
Normally, I look at my list and dive into it, then about mid-day, I wear down and it takes awhile to get myself going again. As I thought about my rhythm, I realized I'd do better working with myself, than against myself. Since I'm more creative in the morning, I should set that time aside for writing work. In the afternoon, when my mind gets groggy, its a prime time to get outside and work in the yard, or do some housework. Anything physical.

This made so much sense, and I tried it today, finding it really did work.

He doesn't leave us submerged for long. A hand always reaches down into the depths and pulls us back up.

give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thess. 5:18

Soon as the doom and gloom hit me, I fought back. I grabbed my Gratitude journal and began to think of the gifts I'd seen lately. It's amazing, how once your eyes are focused on the good, everything else falls into focus as well. Joy returned. So did an eagerness to figure a way to get everything done.

I wrote down all the things I've started, every project I want to do, every job that needs to be done and every writing piece I need to work on. It's like putting all your ducks in a row, so to speak. Now I know what I have. Now I can begin to break down how I will get it done.

He pulled me out, spitting and sputtering, but I feel my breaths again. I'm back on solid ground. I can see a path, a way through. Of course it's there. It's always been there.

No matter what you are faced with, start with counting the blessings. It clears your mind like a fresh wind clears away the clouds. Don't let discouragement keep you submerged in hopelessness.

He loves you. He has good plans for you. If He is for you, none can stand against you. He will make a way. There is always a way through.

Go ahead. Throw back your head and smile big. Let praises rise up with reckless abandon. He is good and worth to be praised.

Be blessed,
J.

Wonderment Wednesday: Habakkuk 3

2011-04-13T08:22:00.000-05:00

Though the cherry trees don't blossom

and the strawberries don't ripen,

Though the apples are worm-eaten

and the wheat fields stunted.

Though the sheep pens are sheepless

and the cattle barns empty,

I am singing joyful praises to God.

I am turning cartwheels of joy to my Savior God.

Counting on God's Rule to prevail,

I take heart and gain strength.

I run like a deer.

I feel like I'm king of the mountain!

Habakkuk 3:17-19 MSG

Wonderment Wednesday: Psalm 16

2011-04-06T08:51:00.000-05:00

Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places,

surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;

even at night my heart instructs me.

I have set the Lord always before me.

Because he is at my right hand,

I will not be shaken.

Psalm 16:5-8 (NIV)

Still Reflections- On The Road Again

2011-04-04T06:00:00.001-05:00

(A re-post from the archives. One of my favorites!)

Staring out the backseat window of my friend Patty's Silverado truck, I half-listened to the conversation between her and our other friend, Dawn, about the need for first-hand research.

Dawn: "It would be fun to visit Connecticut, Patty, but we can't right now. We've just come from Minnesota. We need to go home."

Patty: "But in the Writing Authentic Historicals class, they said research is a very important. What better way to get the details right than to take a road trip over that way?"

I watched the white highway lines zoom past, ready to get home to my every day comfort, as well. The trip up to the conference and back had been such fun, but home beckoned.

Dawn (determination now steeling her voice)- "Maybe so, but we can't just head off to Connecticut. It's not anywhere near Texas."

At this point Patty turns to face Dawn, an eerie glint in her eyes like a toddler set on getting the last cookie from the jar placed on a high shelf. Then she says something I don't think I'll ever forget. With both hands firmly gripping the steering wheel, she stares transfixed at the winding road ahead and replies,

"I have four wheels and a tank of gas, what do you mean I can't go to Con-nec-ti-cut?"

Dawn's mouth drops, as well as my own. I swear that Patty meant it with all the sincerity of a boyscout . As long as she had a car, a tank of fuel and four inflated tires, what's to stop her?

Oh, but I wish I had such tenacity about plowing forward with my life.

We weren't meant to stand still. If we were, we'd sprout roots from our feet and grow leaves. No, God created us for the journey. He created us to run and not grow weary.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith... (Heb. 12:1-2)

Everybody is going somewhere...

Sometimes, the path is smooth and open. My feet meet the pavement like soft butter on warm toast. Everything is great. My joy explodes with each step. I have a song in my heart and a wave for every passing stranger.

Life couldn't be better!

Then other times, I stop dead in my tracks... breath, heart and stomach caught in my throat over what lays ahead.

In places like this I find myself gasping out fervent prayers for help, assistance, rescue. Yet, I venture on, steps cautious like a tight-rope walker. I see the road, though it's a bit unstable, perhaps flooded with worry and concerns.

And like David in Psalms, a cry escapes my lips, "For you are God, my only safe haven. Why have you tossed me aside?" (Ps.43:2 NLT)

That's kind of how it feels when the road gets rough and I become unsure of where to go next.

Still, other times, I stare up in disbelief at the mountain ahead, wondering how will I ever make it over this obstacle. Faith needed to cast the mountain aside, has been cast aside at the sight of such insurmountable opposition.

But once I really look, and sometimes you have to look really, really hard...there it is...

For when you did awesome things that we did not expect, you came
down, and the mountains trembled before you. Since ancient times no one has
heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on
behalf of those who wait for him. Isa. 64:3-4

There, my eyes locate a small narrow path winding its way past tight turns and steep uphill climbs. But it's there; a way over and to the other side. It's always been there. It will always be there.

Eyes must learn to focus on the small steps, not the giant leaps.

We are called to travel, to move forward, to continue the race set before us.

Despite how the path looks, how low, how obstructed, how high- He will not abandon.

He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me;

Psalm 23:3-4

Father God, help me to walk boldly along the paths you have set before me. Help me to not look in trepidation at the obstacles that get in the way, but to always, always, always, keep my eyes focused on you. For you walk at my side. You hold my hand securely. You guide with gentle nudges. Keep me near. Keep me close. Amen.

Wonderment Wednesday- Romans 5

2011-03-30T05:14:00.000-05:00

Romans 5:1-5

Justified by FAITH

PEACE with God

Walking in GRACE

firm standing

Rejoice, Sing Praises, Dance with JoY

HOPE

of the glory of GOD

ALSO...

Rejoice in Suffering

BECAUSE...

Suffering = Perseverance

Perseverance = Character

Character = HOPE

HOPE - does not disappoint

BECAUSE

God

Poured

Out

His

LOVE

Into

Our

HEARTS

by the Holy Spirit whom he has given us....

(A repost)

The Candy Drawer

2011-03-28T09:20:00.000-05:00

I don't know how many times I passed that drawer. Unaware.

And honestly, I didn't even care what was inside. Until I found out... what was inside.

My friend has a heart for giving. And she loves to host dinners and gatherings in her home. It's a modest home, but very comfortable. Big, plush chairs fill the living area. There are two dining tables. An open kitchen. Like I said, she has a heart for welcoming people in and making sure they enjoy their time there.

So one day, we had a church dinner at her house. Several of the guys were gathered around this drawer. At first I didn't think anything of it and went to sit in the living room. But then I heard it... that sound... that distinct sound a person makes when they've found something good.

First I heard the riiippp, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle... followed by mmmmmmm....

Intrigued, I had to go investigate. I'd never dreamed there was something good inside. Yet, it was there, all the same. When I rounded to corner to where the guys were gathered I found my husband there, his hands full of the goodness that drawer offered to anyone who would venture to open it up and reach inside.

CANDY!!

And since that first discovery of this treat drawer, hardly a time has passed when I've seen it empty. It's almost always full with some delightful sweet.

This got me to thinking:

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" Matthew 7:11

How many blessings do we miss because we don't keep our eyes open to God's grace which abounds all around us? How many gifts do we walk past because we have our eyes on our lack? How many delights do we ignore because our eyes are focused on our own needs and not on the abundance God has provided?

It's there, just like the candy. But that candy doesn't hurl itself out of the drawer and smack me upside the head to get my attention. I have to look for it, open the drawer, reach in, riiipppp... crinkle, crinkle, crinkle... mmmmmm....

Oh yeah, it's there. Since I've began counting things I'm grateful for, my eyes have started to refocus, to see things they didn't see before. And the bounty is more mind-boggling than that candy drawer. Sometimes, the candy drawer is running low, or once, I believe, I actually did see it empty. But God's blessings... they never seem to end.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matt. 6:33

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness. 2 Peter 1:3

Everything I need can be found in Him. The gifts are there if you'll only look.

Be blessed,
J.

Wonderment Wednesday

2011-03-23T09:06:00.001-05:00

God is King, robed and ruling, God is robed and surging with strength.

And yes, the world is firm, immovable, Your throne ever firm--you're Eternal!

Sea storms are up, God,
Sea storms wild and roaring,
Sea storms with thunderous breakers.

Stronger than wild sea storms,
Mightier than the sea-storm breakers
Mighty God rules from High Heaven.

What you say goes--it always has
"Beauty" and "Holy" mark your palace rule,
God to the very end of time.

l
Psalms 93

Photos from stormy Texas skies.

A repost from the archives.

When Enough is Enough

2011-03-21T09:14:00.000-05:00

I close the book and run my finger over the picture of hands holding a bird's nest. For the past three years I've been following Ann Voscamp's blog, A Holy Experience. For three years, her beautiful words have encouraged and inspired me to be thankful for the small things.

Then I got a copy of her book, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully. Since I began reading it, the word of giving thanks, even in the pain, has resounded all around me.

I heard it while on Retreat last week.

"Attitude is behind every action and reaction." said one speaker as she talked about how our attitude will make our break our lives. She gave three ways to have an attitude like Jesus had:
1. Having an attitude of gratitude- giving thanks in all circumstances.
2. Having an attitude of latitude- understanding that God loves us right where we are.
3. Having an attitude of fortitude- being courageous even in adversity.

2 Peter 1:3
His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.

Everything we need...

The other day I got really angry with one of my kids. I mean furiously angry. First came the outburst, then the guilt. Why do I let myself get so bent out of shape? Not that my anger wasn't justified, but the outburst wasn't.

As I sat at my desk, seething with anger, I heard in my spirit, "Think of what you are grateful about this child."

I'll be honest, it was hard at first.
But I grabbed my little moleskin book, the one I've begun writing down gratitude gifts in, and found three great qualities about this (at the moment) very annoying child.

With each one I wrote out, the anger ebbed away like water into a parched ground. I began to breath again. My muscles relaxed. The only thing left was the guilt over having let my anger get the best of me.

Mistakes happen, right? But his grace is enough. Sufficient.

His love covers a multitude of sins.

He died that I might live. And learn. And move on.

First I had to forgive myself. He'd forgiven. It happened at the cross.

Jesus said "It's finished."

It was enough.

I have enough. The more I write down the gratitude gifts found around me, the more I realize just how much I have. Often, more than enough.

Be Blessed,
J.

Wonderment Wednesday: Zephaniah 3

2011-03-16T09:25:00.000-05:00

Be glad and rejoice with all your heart....

The Lord your God is with you,

he is mighty to save

He will take great delight in you,

he will quiet you with his love,

he will rejoice over you with singing.

Zeph. 3:14&17

How can we not fall utterly and completely in love with such a God as this?

When God Seems Small...

2011-03-14T09:24:00.000-05:00

God starts with the small, the seemingly insignificant--

A garden and two people
     A boat and eight people
          An old guy and a barren women
               A shepherd boy
                    A babe born in a stable

And yet... God may start small... but he finishes BIG!!

The world is populated with those two people.
Then re-populated with those eight people.
A nation numbering the amount of the stars comes from the old guy and barren women.
A shepherd boy grows up to be a mighty king and unites a people.
A babe born in a manger grows up to save the world.

SPREAD OUT! THINK BIG!

"Sing, barren woman, who has never had a baby. Fill the air with song, you who've never experienced childbirth! You're ending up with far more children than all those childbearing women."

God says so!

Clear lots of ground for your tents!
Make your tents large. Spread out! Think big! Use plenty of rope, drive the tent pegs deep.

You're going to take over whole nations,
you're going to resettle abandoned cities.

Don't be afraid--you're not going to be embarrassed.

Don't hold back--you're not going to come up short.
Isaiah 54:1-4 MSG

Don't despise the day of small beginnings, the word says. How do you see yourself? As a tiny seed, hidden the the dark earth? That's all right. In time, you have the potential to be a mighty oak, strong against the winds and storms. Shelter. Food. Life!

Wonderment Wednesday: Psalm 136

2011-03-09T08:55:00.000-06:00

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.

His love endures forever!

Give thanks to the God of gods,

His love endures forever!

Give thanks to the Lord of lords,

His love endures forever!

to him who alone does great wonders,

His love endures forever

who by his understanding made the heavens,

His love endures forever

who spread out the earth upon the waters,

His love endures forever,

who made the great lights--

His love endures forever

the sun to govern the day,

His love endures forever

the moon and stars to govern the night

His love endures forever

with a mighty hand and outstretched arm

His love endures forever

to the One who remembered us in our low estate

His love endures forever

and freed us from our enemies,

His love endures forever

and who give food to every creature,

His love endures forever

Give thanks to the God of Heaven,

His love endures forever

Psalm 136 (NIV)

Wonderment Wednesday: Philippians 4:11-13

2011-03-02T09:24:00.000-06:00

I have learned...

to be content...

whatever the circumstance.

I know what it is to be in need,
I know what is to have plenty.

I have learned the secret

of being content

in any

and

every

situation,

whether well fed

or hungry,

whether living in plenty

or in want

I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:11-13 (NIV)

When life seems parched

2011-02-28T05:54:00.000-06:00

The poor and needy search for water,

but there is none;

their tongues are parched with thirst.

But I the Lord will answer them;

I will make rivers flow on barren heigths,

and springs within the valleys.

I will turn the desert into pools of water,

the the parched ground into springs.

I will put in the desert

the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle and the olive.

I will set pines in the wasteland,

the fir and the cypress together,

so that people may see and know,

may consider and understand

that the hand of the Lord has done this,

that the Holy One of Israel has created it.

Isaiah 41:17-20

I woke up feeling down and discouraged. I get out of bed and go out to find chaos slung across my house. Grabbing a cup of coffee, I retreat to my quiet spot and pour out my heart to Him.

He is faithful to answer. As I pour out my hurts, and fear, His presence is right there beside me, dabbing up every last tear. Then his encouragement follows, pouring into the empty vessel I'd become. Showing me things I'd not seen. The beauty of a sunbeam even as it hits a dirty counter. The glorious colors of a sunrise as I look across my unkept yard. The wag of a tail and eyes full of love of the very dog who messed on the carpet. Yet it's there. Those things that cause smiles despite it all.

I’ve found God right here. Even in all this mess. And I’m going to choose to glorify him today. And I’m going to pour myself out into this home, my family, friends, and into the words I write. I’m going to keep trying not to worry. He has my days. My hours. My minutes. I have no need to worry. I just need to keep pouring. Like the widow woman. She was down to her last bit of oil and flour, and she kept pouring out until she fed the whole town. That’s God. That’s what he does for us. We just have to keep pouring.

Be blessed,
j

Finding the Cleft of Quietness

2011-02-25T06:30:00.002-06:00

It's been one of those crazy, busy weeks where some things have a way of getting pushed to the side. My most sincere apologies. Here is a post from the archives that seemed appropriate for this time. Next week, I promise to be back to my regular schedule with new thoughts. God Bless.

The Lord said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the
Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by."
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the
rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind.
After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the
earthquake.
After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.
And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his
cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then the Lord said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"

When I was a child, I loved to climb high up in the trees, find a sturdy crook in the branches, and sit there, surrounded by greenery, splattered sunlight and a gentle rustling breeze. It felt like I'd entered a whole different world. Swaying... Cool... Soothing. I could sit up there for hours and hours, just thinking... swaying... hiding away in the tree's strong cocoon of shimmering greens.

I still find a need to seek out those solitary, quiet places. Now I'm bit too old to climb trees. Darn it. But I often find myself lured to quiet shady spots beneath spreading branches. I need that quiet. It's where I hear God best.

It's so easy to get swept up in the daily cacophony of noise, stress, demands and pressures. It's so easy forget to withdraw, every once in awhile to those quiet places, whether it be the shade of a tree, cradled in the bough of branches, or swinging on a hammock, or simply sitting quietly at a desk, or a favorite chair.

I need to let the gentle breeze of His voice flow over me, tickling my skin, tugging tresses of hair, gentle air kisses on my cheek, whispered words in my ear. Time to be still before Him. Opportunity to hear Him ask, "What are you doing here? What's your purpose? Are you following mine or yours?"

We need to find God,
and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness.
God is the friend of silence.
See how nature - trees, flowers, grass -
grow in silence;
See the stars, the moon and the sun,
how they move in silence...

We need silence to be able to touch souls.
Mother Theresa

Father, may I always remember you are my rock. You are my place of safety. You are the quiet place where I can seek refuge in a crazy world. Meet me always in those quiet places. Let me always hear your voice come on the quiet breezes. Amen

Wonderment Wednesday - Isaiah 49

2011-02-16T06:55:00.000-06:00

This is what the Lord says--

"In the time of my favor I will answer you, and in the day of salvation I will help you;

I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people, to restore the land

and to reassign its desolate inheritances,

to say to the captive,

'Come out,'

and to those in darkenss,

'Be free!'

Isaiah 49:8-9

All You Really Do Need Is LOVE...

2011-02-14T07:32:00.000-06:00

Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong.

They are weak, but He is strong....

When I was very little, I knew this song by heart. And, as my family often told me, I'd sing it whenever I got into trouble.

My mom would narrow her eyes at me as she retold the story and say, "Do you know how hard it is to spank a child that's singing Jesus Loves Me at the top of her lungs?

Singing about how He loves me got me out of a lot of trouble back then.

And it still does.

Remembering, when times get tough, when the waters begin to rise and the storms rage, that He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.

It's like a lifeboat. With a roof. And lots of flotation devices tucked inside.

Time and again, just the knowledge that Jesus loves...
It makes all the difference in the world. Even now it keeps me out of trouble. Even now, despite everything that does or can happen, knowing He loves me and has my best interest at heart is more than enough.

I hope it is for you too.

Yes, Jesus love me... Yes, Jesus loves me... Yes, Jesus loves me... I just know it down deep in my heart.

Happy Valentines Day, Friends

(turn off the music on the sidebar and enjoy.)

Wednesday Wonderment - Job 38

2011-02-08T06:00:00.002-06:00

Then the LORD spoke...

Have you entered the storehouses of the snow,

or seen the storehouses of the hail,

which I reserve for times of trouble, for days of war and battle?

Who endowed the heart with wisdom or gave understanding to the mind?

Who has the wisdom to count the clouds?

Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens

When the dust becomes hard and the clods of earth stick together?

Job 38:22-23 & 36-37 NIV

first posted May 12, 2009

Strongholds- looking from the bottom up

2011-02-07T05:36:00.004-06:00

Stronghold: World English Dictionary:

1. A defensible place; fortress

2. A major center or area of predominance.

A stronghold is meant to be impenetrable. The walls tall, smooth, unclimbable. The thickness of sheer stone unbreakable. Those that hide within are safe, untouchable.

So when I heard someone say that they've had a stronghold in their life since childhood, I thought, it must be a mighty one to have held for so long. And if it 's that strong, that it had held firm for nearly a lifetime, what could possibly come against it?

I can hear you now, "With God, all things are possible." or "God is bigger than any stronghold."

My answer is, yes, this is true. But the person who spoke about the stronghold is a longtime Christian. A strong Christian. A firmly believing Christian.

I think, no matter who you are, when you are standing at the bottom looking up, it simply seems insurmountable. No matter what or who is standing next to you.

That's how it looks, anyway.

Which led me to my next thought... how we look at things.

As long as she saw this thing as a stronghold, then it would keep it's strong hold on her life. All she could see was the sheer wall surrounding her and no way out or over. Yet, in all this, the enemy kept finding a way in to steal her joy, kill her hope and destroy her will to fight her way out.

This is the enemies best trick. He keeps you looking at the wall, so you can't see that if there's a way in, there has to be a way out. He keeps that one thing prominent in your view so you don't see the One standing next to you, or the others: friends, family, your church body who are surrounding you, ready to fight with you. But your eyes are so locked on that THING. . . .

What was needed was to change how that THING looked. To the enemy, it was nothing. I thought about the second movie in the Lord of the Rings trilogy when the evil army advanced on Helm's Deep with the intent to smash it to pieces. They nearly succeeded until the rescuer on the white horse arrived with the dawn.

We have a rescuer. He doesn't see things like we do at all.

"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord." Isa. 55:8

How To Get Over The Walls of a Stronghold:

1. Make sure that stronghold isn't a safe-place for you. Sometimes we get comfortable in our pain and shortcomings. Examine your motives.

2. Change how you view that stronghold. Change what you call it. Stop giving it so much power. It's not a stronghold, it's simply an issue that needs to be dealt with.

3. Stop giving it more power than it deserves. God is out cleft, or safe place. He covers us with his hands. (Isa. 51).

4. Be willing to look around at the resources God as placed in our lives. Friends, family, our church body.

5. Get out your climbing gear and move on.

Spend time with God and allow him to reveal the truth about this issue. Where did it come from? How can it be surmounted? Be willing to share with others, those who you feel are safe, what's going on with you. It's amazing how many other people have traveled the same road we find ourselves on.

Strongholds are meant to be safe places. But they can also become prisons.

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. Isa. 43:19

Equipped

2011-02-04T08:25:00.000-06:00

Nearly all week I've been stuck inside the house. The roads have been a sheet of ice, temperatures have been steadily below freezing and it's simply a risk to get out on the roads.

All week, we've battled frozen pipes, rolling blackouts and trying to keep warm. I don't think our heater has stopped once and I'm afraid to see what next month's bills will amount to. Between leaving the water dripping all night for a week, to the added electricity and gas to heat the house... well, it's not going to be good.

Our northern neighbors, I'm sure, are rolling their eyes thinking, "Oh please, are you serious? That's a spring day to us."

We, in the south, simply aren't equipped to deal with this sort of weather. We could be. Perhaps we should be...

In the north, this is nothing.

It made me think of how we as a people are equipped for different situations, different temps, different circumstances....

I walked out onto my porch this morning, surrounded by this amazing winter wonderland. All was still, quiet. No birds sang in the morning, as usual. No revving of cold engines, readying for the commute to work. No sleepy teens passing by on the way to school.

All stillness. All quiet. All at peace.

Except the chattering of my teeth. I'm not equipped for this kind of weather. I'm a pure southerner. Born in sunny California, then moved to blazing-hot Texas. I can take the heat. My northern in-laws melt and wonder, "How do you live like this?"

My exact thoughts when I visit up north in the winter. But they are equipped for the cold, and months of dark, cloudy skies and sub-zero temperatures.

Funny how we are each equipped to live in the place God has placed us. And maybe we didn't start out that way, but we manage to adapt. We manage to accept the place we are at, eventually, some quicker than others... and we make our way.

It's easy to look at those around us and wonder, "How can you do that?" or "What are you thinking?" or "What are you whining about? I deal with that all the time."

Throughout the Bible, God set different people in particular places. Like Ester. When her relatives, her people, were being persecuted, and she was sitting pretty in the palace, her cousin Mordecai knew it was for a reason. "How do you know, you have not been put in this place of royalty for such as reason as this?"

(Est. 4)

What about Moses who was born just as the Pharaoh decided that all infant male Jews needed to be killed off? Moses was sent to be raised by the Pharaoh's own daughter, until such a time when he would rise up and help free his people.

There are so many other examples. When it looks bad, and doesn't make sense. Joseph, destined to rule had to go to prison first. To look at these stories, you wonder what did people think of Ester, Moses, or even Joseph? They lived lofty lives... for awhile... while other's suffered.

As I stood on the porch, in the quiet stillness, wondering if my kitchen sink would work this morning or not, I couldn't help but think, you just never know about things when you are looking from the outside in.

Everyone has a reason and purpose on this earth. Not everyone realizes that. The enemy seems intent on discounting that purpose. He seems intent to cloud the truth, to whisper lies, not only to us, but to those who observe us.

But God has placed us right where we need to be. Either in a hot, sweltering climate, or a frigid one, standing up to our knees in snow. For where He's placed us, He's equipped us to deal with our situation, and to carry out those plans He has for us. If we so choose to accept them. Not all do.

No, here in the south, we are not equipped to deal with the freezing temperatures. But we aren't meant to. No more than the north is meant to deal with the insane heat we have here. We have our means to deal with our physical circumstance. For the most part. We still complain and wait eagerly for fall to arrive, just as the Northerner's sigh with relief when the snow melts and the first buds blossom.

Spiritually, are we accepting the place in which God has set us? Are we allowing Him to equip us for the circumstances He has called us to? It's different for everyone. Are we being supportive of our brother's and sisters, even when it really doesn't make sense? Are we asking first, "have you heard from God?" before we shake our heads and give our opinion on their plight in life?

Just wondering. Now that my toes are numb, I'm going back into the warmth of my house. The snow is nice and fun for awhile, but I'll be glad when Texas gets back to her normal weather patterns. My sneakers aren't meant for this ice and slush and my flip-flops are ready to come out and play.

Be blessed,

I fall down. He lifts me up

2011-01-31T05:42:00.002-06:00

(a repost from the archives)

It's inevitable, that we'll find ourselves face down on the ground, spitting dirt, from time to time. Such has been my week.

And it's also inevitable, that the enemy we face in the spiritual realms, being the opportunist he is, will kick you when you're down. And kick you hard.

These occurrences are as likely as Murphy's law.

I had messed up, harming a friendship and my self-confidence. And the enemy, being the said opportunist he is, began telling me all sorts of accusations to break me down, to cause me to give up on myself.

A myriad of emotions can hit us when we hit the ground. Depression. Doubt. Fear. Then skipping right along behind...anger.

That's where I finally got. I became angry at the unfairness of the situation. Sure, we make mistakes, but why does the punishment for it have to seem so severe at times? And maybe it's because I was an only child who rarely got in trouble while growing up, but I don't do well with discipline. Actually, I simply hate for people to be disappointed with me. Even when I was a child, I did my best to please everyone, and it's something I haven't grown out of much.

So my sadness over what I'd caused turned to anger. Not just irritation, but a real temper-tantrum fit. "This isn't fair. I'm done, Lord. I want no more to do with people. I'm not going to do this anymore. When I screw up, the consequences are too severe and I can't handle when I hurt someone. I can't. I wont! Don't ask me again!! Do you hear me, God? Don't ask me to befriend another of your lost children. You'll have to find someone else more qualified to do that."

And I meant it. Foot stomping included... when nobody was looking.
And yet... right in the midst of my fit throwing, He gave me a picture. A mental image of what he thought about my situation.

Sometimes, I can hear his quiet voice speaking, sometimes I feel a nudge. Many times, I see a picture that conveys what God wants to say to me.

He could have been angry right back. It's what I deserved. Instead, he showed me that he was holding me and loving on me despite all the emotions swirling tornadically and tearing up my heart and spirit. He showed me that I was cradled in his arms, and it was okay for tears to flow and dampen his shirt. It was okay to fall limp in his arms. He had me. He wouldn't let go. His love would keep me secure no matter what happened or how I felt about it.

And isn't that his way? To love when we are unlovable? To comfort when we rage? To be compassionate when we sully up and feel full of hate?

During this time, He showed me a verse from Psalm 103:8-12

The Lord is compassionate and gracious,

slow to anger, abounding in love.

He will not always accuse,

nor will he harbor his anger forever,

he does not treat us as our sins deserve

or repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

so great is his love for those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west,

so far has he removed our transgression from us.

Father God, thank you for your forgiveness, for loving me when I'm unlovable. For pulling me into your arms when I'm hurting, when wounds have been banged and ache. Thank you for showing me how you feel about me, your compassion, your grace and mercy reign forever in my life. May it reign in the lives of others who read this story and understand that you love them even during their unlovable times as well. We thank you. Amen!

pictures: Fallen Warrior and Cry Out To Jesus created by myself.

Wonderment Wednesday - Psalms 19

2011-01-26T06:11:00.001-06:00

The heavens declare the glory of God;

the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech:

night after night they display knowledge.

There is no speech or language

where thier voice is not heard.

Thier voice goes out into all the earth,

thier words to the ends of the world...
Psalm 19:1-4

photos of Texas skies

Heart Songs

2011-01-24T06:56:00.002-06:00

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,

though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls. . .

Habakuk 3:17

It starts to moment my feet hit the floor. The water pressure in the shower isn't working right. The shirt I decide to wear has a missing button, or needs ironed. The kids don't want to get out of bed and when they do, their unending demands and arguing cause me to want to send them to school in their pjs.

The day not only starts off like this, but continues along with one calamity after another until I'm ready to throw up my hands and take cover until the storm subsides.

I text a friend my woes and she responds with sympathy and a few of her own troubles as well. But then... then she says the words that always cause me to take a deep breath and find that inner drive to just keep going:

"God is good and He loves us."

In the midst of a particularly troubling storm, this song from Chris Tomlin came to me and it's done wonders for lifting my spirit when I simply wanted to give up.

There is an endless song
Echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring
And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise?
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love?

. . .yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.

Habakuk 3:18

I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives
And I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give

I can sing in the troubled times
Sing when I win
I can sing when I lose my step
And I fall down again
I can sing 'cause You pick me up
Sing 'cause You're there
I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord
When I call to You in prayer
I can sing with my last breath
Sing for I know
That I'll sing with the angels
And the saints around the throne

There's not much I can do to stop misfortune and trails from hitting me on every side. But I CAN sing. And I can sing praises to Him. Because like Peter in prison, when he sang praises, God's glory showed up and the shackles dropped off his arms so he could walk away free.

There's a power in praise.
It does something for our beaten down hearts.
It brings a sense of revival.
And it reminds us that no matter what's happening, how hard it gets, or how bad it looks He is good and He loves us.

How can I keep from shouting Your name?
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

No matter what, He loves us. He loves us. Oh, how He loves us.
And that's enough to make me want to sing!

And when I sing praises to my King, the enemy flees and my troubles don't seem so mountainous, because I am loved by Him who created and rules the universe.

Turn off the music in the side bar and enjoy Chris Tomlin's "How Can I Keep From Singing" video.

The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.
Hab. 3:19

Wonderment Wednesday- Isaiah 58

2011-01-19T05:30:00.000-06:00

"'Why have we fasted,' they say, 'and you have not seen it? Why have we humbled ourselves, and you have not noticed?'

Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please and exploit all your workers. Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife, and in striking each other with wicked fist. You cannot fast as you do today and expect your voice to be heard on high.

Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for people to humble themselves? Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed and for lying in sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the Lord?

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—

When you see the naked, to clothes them and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you and the glory of the Lord will be your read guard. Then you will call and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help and he will say, Here I am.

Isa 58:3-8

Why Can't We Just Love?

2011-01-17T07:47:00.008-06:00

Early one morning, Jesus met a crowd so large he retreated to the water, to sit in a boat and speak with them.
In my quiet place, I can close my eyes and see him looking over the people, hear the water lapping against crusted wood, hear the whispered shifting as the crowd waits in anticipation of what the Teacher might say.

Finally, in a loud, clear voice, Jesus begins:

"A farmer went out to sow his seed. . . ." (Matthew 13)

Light or Rocks?

We do not draw people to Christ by loudly discrediting what they believe, by telling them how wrong they are and how right we are, but by showing them a light that is so lovely that they want with all their hearts to know the source of it.
Madeleine L'Engle

While in my quiet place, my wandering imagination takes me to another Bible scene. The same Teacher, surrounded by a group of angry accusers. Their reproving fist clutching large, death-stones.

Treacherous woman, face on the ground, fear pouring out with her sweat and blood.

Jesus looks at none of them. "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her," he replied as he pick up a small stick and began to draw in the dirt. (John 8) That same dirt his father created us from. That same dirt we fight against daily, washing it from our hands, our clothes, our homes. Yet, that same dirt each and everyone of us began as.

When I close my eyes, I can hear the staggered silence, mingled with the woman's fearful breathing, and the scraping of wood on earth. Then a thunk. Followed by another thunk. And another. Thunk. Thunk.... Thunk.

In Luke 6, this very same Teacher implored his followers to "love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked."

Doesn't make sense, does it?

But the fact is, the farmer didn't go tear up the rocks before sowing his seed. He knew eventually it would find good ground, hungry ground. He never stopped to shoo away the birds, or watch where he tossed. He cast his seed with loving abandon.

Jesus, the son of God, never condemned the prostitute. Matter of fact, when he asked if any were left to condemn her, she said "No one, sir." He didn't either. He simply told her to stop it. Which, most often, when we are face to face with God and our sin, isn't that usually his response? "Stop it, my child. Stop hurting yourself. I love you."

I don't know. I think it is. It's what I usually hear when I'm on the ground with my sins. "Just stop it. Get up, daughter, dust yourself off and let's go. There's something much better."

And my hunger for him overtakes my gluttony for the junk food I've been feeding on.

Where does that leave us?
L'Engle said, "Show them a light that is so lovely, that they want with all their hearts to know the source of it."

We have that light within us. As God's own children, it's there. No, it doesn't make sense why He would have such a love for the "ungrateful and wicked." But He does. He does.

Who are we to grasp stones? Not when we are made of the same substance. The same dirt. Truth is, we are all the same. So why not try to get along and love each other no matter what?

"But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown."

My mom used to say, "You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar." Maybe she had something there.

Love and Blessings,
J.

Settling...

2011-01-14T08:07:00.000-06:00

Picture this: Jacob, described as the kind of person who liked to stay home, was brewing up a pot of stew for himself. Along comes his ruddy brother, Esau, a skilled hunter, who is "famished" an demands some of Jacob's soup.

Jacob, being not just a homebody, but a homebody who has time on his hands to think up schemes, says the bowl will only cost Esau his birthright.

I don't know how many times I've heard this story, but the levels of stupidity a person can have never ceases to amaze me. I mean, couldn't Esau have gone to Mommy and asked for some food? Wasn't he a skilled hunter? Even John the Baptist could make a meal out of crunchy bugs...

But a birthright?

Genesis 25:31-34:
"Jacob replied, 'All right, but trade me your birthright for it.'
'Look, I'm dying of starvation!' said Esau. 'What good is my birthright to me now?'
So Jacob insisted, 'Well then, swear to me right now that it is mine.' So Esau swore an oath, threrby selling all his rights as the firstborn to his younger brothers. Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and lentil stew. Esau ate and drank and went on about his business, indifferent to the fact that he had given up his birthright."

Peanut Butter Jelly Time
Have you ever come in starving and think to yourself, I just need a little something until I can make dinner? So you slap together a PB&J and scarf it down. A few minutes later, you find out that you've just been invited to dinner at Red Lobster, or somewhere great and now you are too full to enjoy that fine meal.

OK, maybe that's really never happened before, literally, but metaphorically...?

How many times have we settled for the immediate solution, instead of completely working out the best possible answer? How many times have we settled for the job that seems safe and secure. Or what about when you're out shopping and buy a decent pair of shoes, only later to find the perfect pair of shoes for even cheaper? Raising my hand here. I was too lazy to keep looking, too impatient to wait for what I really wanted, and figured good enough is good enough.

See? When I read the story of Jacob and Esau, I want to say Esau was a moron.
But....

But....

I think it's easier to settle for that bowl of soup, than we think. Especially, when things become uncertain and the security blanket is hard to release. Especially when your tummy is rumbling and the bread and peanut butter is right there. Especially when one road looks pretty darn easy to travel while the other is full of brambles and rocks.

"Make sure that no one is immoral or godless like Esau. He traded his birthright as the oldest son for a single meal. And afterward, when he wanted his father's blessing, he was rejected. It was too late for repentance, even though he wept bitter tears." Hebrews 12:16-17 NLT

God has promised good for us. God doesn't lie.
"If God is for us, who can be against?" Rom. 8:31

"And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won't he more surely care for you? You have so little faith!" Matt. 6:30

"Now, glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to to ask or hope." Eph. 3:20

"Don't get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time." Gal. 6:9

Is that enough? There's more where this came from. Seriously.
So what are you settling for? Is God calling you to something higher, yet more risky? Are you afraid to be uncomfortable for awhile as you race down that rocky, twisted path after Him?

It's hard. I won't lie. It's even scary. Real scary sometimes.

Yet, I leave you with one more Bible truth and then you'll have to figure it out for yourself.

"God has given gifts to each of you from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Manage them well so that God's generosity can flow through you. Are you called to be a speaker? Then speaks as though God himself were speaking through you. Are you called to help others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then God will be given glory in everything through Jesus Christ. All glory and power belong to him forever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 4:10-11 NLT

Be Blessed,
J.

Wonderment Wednesday - Isaiah 58

2011-01-12T10:18:00.000-06:00

Feed the hungry and help those in trouble.

Then your light will shine out from the darkness

and the darkness around you will be bright as day.

The Lord will guide you continually,

watering your life when you are dry

and keeping you healthy, too.

Isaiah 58:11-12

Wonderment Wednesday - Psalm 121

2011-01-05T06:00:00.000-06:00

I lift up my eyes to the hills-

Where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord, the maker of Heaven and Earth.

He will not let your foot slip -
He who watches over you will not slumber, indeed, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you-
The Lord is your shade at your right hand and the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm-

He will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forever more.

Psalm 121:1-8

A Life of Excellence...

2011-01-03T13:12:00.000-06:00

The World English Dictionary defines excellence as the state or quality of excelling or being exceptionally good. Possessing outstanding quality or superior merit; remarkably good. Also: An action or characteristic in which a person excels.

Over the past year, I’ve found many of my endeavors have been mediocre, at best. Not all. But most tasks are simply done good enough to get by. I put off unpleasant jobs as long as possible, until they become a minor crisis. I rush through other duties deemed unimportant or mundane, to hurry up and get them done. Before I know it, I’m even skimping on things that really do matter. Laziness and complacency and lame excuses have tacked themselves on to me like too many over-indulged holiday treats.

Then one night, right before Christmas, I saw something that really challenged me. A picture on Facebook that a friend had posted of his presents. But these weren't just any wrapped gifts, either. They were works of art. Art that he’d probably spent all day working on. They made my packages look like a kindergartner has hastily wrapped them. And I’d thought I was being fancy by sticking a bow on top.

After picking my bottom lip off the floor, I stared at the picture of my friend’s gifts for the longest time, thinking…

The Bible says that whatever we do, we should work at it with all our heart (or heartily as the KJV reads), as working for the Lord and not men. (Colossians 3:23)

Heartily means such words as: sincerely, thoroughly, without restraint, exuberantly, and so forth. We could also say, “Work at it with excellence…” It means putting that extra effort into those tasks we set our hands to.

As I looked at that picture, I was thinking of the effort my friend had put into them. I also thought of the effort he puts into a lot of things he does, thoroughly paying attention to details, not restraining himself to do things the easy way, but sincerely puts his best forward when it’s something he really loves to do.

But who and what do we really love?

What does a life of Excellence look like?

Perhaps not taking so many shortcuts.

Could be focusing on and taking time for the details. Don’t despise the small things.

Maybe adding a bit of flair. Putting yourself into all you do.

Most definitely….Not settling for good-enough.

Excellence does not equal Perfection.

Perfection is unattainable. No matter how hard one tries, there will always be some imperfection. Somewhere. Somehow.

However, if you walk one mile, you can certainly go one more. Excellence is the giving your shirt along with your coat. Excellence is turning the other cheek when you’ve been wounded. Excellence is praying for those who don’t deserve your prayers. Excellence is putting all the love you have for the Lord into everything you do. Not because of what you hope to get out of it, but because God has given a gift, whatever talent you possess, and some gifts aren’t meant to be kept, but shared.

So I've made it a goal this new year, to try a little harder. To not rush. To slow down and put my very best into whatever I set my hands to. Doesn't matter if it's cooking a dinner for my family, or spending time with a friend, or writing one of my stories. I want to do this because of my love for my Lord who set the standard when he created an excellent world and lived an excellent a life.

Hebrews 12:12 says, Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees, "Make level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed. Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy: without holiness no one will see the Lord.

Striving for excellence not only helps me, but it let's God's light shine through everything I do.

That's what really matters, right?

Be blessed,

Pictures are from my very talented friend, Greg.

Wonderment Wednesday - Jesus' Prayer for us

2010-12-22T07:50:00.001-06:00

Just as you, Father, are in me and I in you,

So they might be one heart and mind with us,

Then the world might believe that you, in fact, sent me.

The same glory you gave me, I gave them,

So they'll be as unified and together as we are--

I in them and you in me.

Then they'll be mature in this oneness,

And give the godless world evidence

That you've sent me and loved them

In the same way you've loved me.

Father, I want those you gave me

To be with me, right where I am.

So they can see my glory, the splendor you gave me.

Having loved me

Long before there ever was a world.

Righteous Father, the world has never known you.

But I have known you,

And these disciples know that you sent me on this mission.

I have made your very being known to them--

Who you are and what you do--

And continue to make it known....

So that your love for me might be in them

Exactly as I am in them.

John 17:24-26 (MSG)

When God Was Born

2010-12-21T07:10:00.000-06:00

When God was Born as told by children video.

This was really cute, so I wanted to share it with you all. I pray your holiday week is filled with joy and excitement. Keep your eyes on Him who the season is all about.

There's so much to celebrate for what He's done for us. Amen!

(turn off the sidebar music while you enjoy this video)

Christmas Choices: When it simply stinks

2010-12-20T07:24:00.002-06:00

We had decided to not get a tree this year, which is hard because we love having a live tree for Christmas. It wasn't because we were hum-bugging about Christmas. We simply found time running short along with our spending budget. I would just get out some decorations to brighten up the house with.

Then, when I opened our ornament tub, a bad smell hit me. Seems when our storage room flooded from the overflowing laundry room, water had seeped into the plastic container and saturated every last cardboard box. Every last item had a covering of mold on it.

As I stared down into that box, the last of my Christmas cheer ebbing away, I realized a decision had to be made. This, being a real downer of a thing to happen, could either cloud my holiday happiness, or I could look beyond the stench and gunk to what was really important.

And I wonder...

Before God came down to earth as a helpless babe, did He see the stench and gunk we'd made of His world? Did His heart falter with gloom? Was His joy in that wonderful thing He'd created stripped away from the mess that it had become?

I don't know. What I do know is that despite the mess, the stink and the corrosion, He came anyway. He looked beyond the mess and set His eyes on the HOPE of saving the lost children. He never faltered in His choice to come, to walk with us, eat with us, teach us and then die for us.

Looking at the mess in that plastic tub, I heaved a big sigh, shook my head, and walked away. There might be some I can salvage, but I had decided to deal with it later.

I allowed myself to be really bummed for about 10 minutes, then decided that it's not about all the decorations anyway. It was only about what He'd done. It was about Love.

Jesus always made the best of what He had, which honestly wasn't much while He walked this earth.

All the tinsel and lights

and the presents are nice...

but the real gift is You!

Happy Birthday, Jesus

Yeah, all that is nice... the decorations, the twinkling lights, and PRESENTS! Of course. But all that is a means to the end. It's our way to celebrate God's real gift, and it's easy to forget when you get burdened under with the pressure to get more and do more and having everything perfect.

And that's simply madness. Jesus' first bed was an animal troff, that manger where animals munched on hay. Where did we get the idea that everything had to be so... well, you know.

It's okay, if you can't buy a lot. It's okay if the decorations are sparse. It's okay, really. The real gift... it's HIM! It's Jesus coming to earth, dying for our sins, showing us how to really live.

PRAISE HIM! FOR HE IS GOOD!

Turn off the sidebar music and take a moment to wish Him a Happy Birthday right now and all through this week as you go about your Merry Making. I'll be posting some kind of Christmas fun each day, either a video I've come across or maybe some crazy pictures that will make you smile. Be blessed friends. Don't sweat the small stuff. God loves, loves, loves you. He loves you so much, he died for you.

Can it get any better than that?

Merry Christmas!

Friday's favorite - video day

2010-12-17T06:41:00.003-06:00

I picked this song because of the verse below. "Give your dreams the wings to fly, you have everything you need..."

In Jesus, the reason that we celebrate this season, we do have everything we need. He is the dream maker, the dream take-carer. If we can only have faith in Him and what He's doing with our lives, there is nothing and nowhere that we can't go.

Have Faith. He will see you through.

Turn off the music on the sidebar and enjoy Josh Groban and Beyonce sing Believe. . .

Believe in what your heart is saying

Just believe

Hear the melody that's playing

There's no time to waste

There's so much to celebrate

Believe in what you feel inside

And give your dreams the wings to fly

You have everything you need

If you just believe

Wonderment Wednesday - Matthew 6:34

2010-12-15T06:26:00.001-06:00

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now,

and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow.

God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

Matthew 6:34 (MSG)

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when test and challenges come at you from all sides.
You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.

So don't try to get out of anything prematurely.

Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father.

He loves to help.

You'll get his help and won't be condescended to when you ask for it.

Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought.

James 1:2-5

Such a Small Word

2010-12-13T11:14:00.000-06:00

I don't know how many times I've asked myself if I'm really hearing God. If I'm really doing what I should be doing. If I'm in the right place, making the right choices... especially when those choices are only making things worse. Or they seem worse. . . yet, are they?

~*~

Voices quieted as the chapter president stood before the group of writers, cupping several small objects in her hands. It was our Christmas party meeting. She looked around the room and said she wanted to give everyone a little gift and as she rounded the tables, setting one small stone in front of a member, she also said that she'd asked God to let each one be a special word to the receiver. Carefully, she'd pluck one out of her palm without looking at it, and set it face down on the table.

When I turned mine over, I knew immediately He'd heard her prayer.

It's the very word I hear every time I question what He's asked me to do.

"Have faith, Jackie. I'm right here with you. There's a reason for everything. I have good plans for you. I desire good things, not bad, for you."

I held the little stone between my fingers, letting them rub over the indented word, saying it over and over... faith... faith... just need to have faith.

Then our speaker got up. She talked about when tragedy hits. She had experienced it, going blind one day and having to rebuild her life because of it. Yet it's not defeated her. Matter-of-fact, her blindness has allowed her to see life much more clearly.

Her last words are still re-vibrating through my spirit:

I'm not stuck. I'm in position. Live life. Live it to it's fullest.

That's the FAITH walk. It's the keep on walking, despite how high the waves look, keep on doing what seems impossible because He will make all things possible for those of us who love Him.

Such a small word. Such a small gift. Yet so profound.

Blessings,

Wonderment Wednesday

2010-12-08T06:31:00.001-06:00

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus...

Philippians 4:19

Missing it

2010-12-06T06:00:00.001-06:00

A repost from the archives:

I think it was Joyce Myers who had the funny lesson about taking another trip around the mountain. Like, for instance, when the Israelites missed it with God and he sent them back out into the desert for a longer time to think about it and hopefully learn their lesson.

She called it "taking another trip around the mountain."

Ever feel like you keep having to relive the same trials time and time again? Keep getting mad about the same things? Keep bouncing checks? Keep missing appointments? The list is endless. Life seems one trial after another.

One more trip around the mountain. Will I get it this time?

After 95% of the original Israelites were dead, the promised land finally came into view.

Oh, Lord, don't let it be that way with me. Help me to learn Your lessons by at least... the third... maybe fourth time around?

After three grueling weeks, I managed to drag myself out of bed this morning, determined to get back into the habit of having an early morning quiet time with God. I know better than to let that time slip. Every thing simply goes awry when I don't carve out that predawn hour to sit quiet, listen for His call, and take in his words like honey on warm toast. How could I allow myself to start each day without filling myself? Haven't I learned by now I need His sustenance to make it in this life?

I sat at my desk, groggy eyed and empty headed, too early for even my thoughts to start their swarming. "Well?" I ask after downing half my first cup of coffee. As a response to the quiet, I open my journal and write, "Lord help me get back into a routine. The past three weeks have been a blur. I feel like my free time has been squeezed of all excess like a damp rag. I'm weary and I'm begging for a short rest. A time to recollect myself."

I've talked before about John Eldredge's book Walking With God on this blog. This is one book you can not race through. It's one that needs to be savored, re-savored and yet again, savored at least once more.

I heard, "Fall. Third entry."

And it sounded familiar, something I'd visited before. The title read, Until God Becomes Our All, and of course, I've savored this morsel a few times.

You see, I've been struggling with several things: changes, disappointments, readjustment, family... to name a few. The job I'd hoped for didn't come through. So I was bummed. Life itself, ever moving and revolving brings its own changes in relationships, events, time constraints. The job I do have has changed drastically and it's been a struggle to keep up. During all this, my eyes once again moved off my steady rock and onto the wildly lapping waves around me. But at least I didn't sink completely this time. No eye-to-eye moments with a tuna. Not this time.

Yet the distance grows, and will keep growing if I don't throw out my arms and plead, "Catch me, daddy!"

Eldredge wrote, "We see God as a means to an end rather than the end
itself. God as the assistant to our life versus God as our life. We don't see
the process of our life as coming to the place where we are fully his and he is
our all. And so we are surprised by the course of events.

It's not that God doesn't want us to be happy. He does. It's just that he
knows that until we are holy, we cannot really be happy. Until God has become
our all, and we are fully his, we will continue to make idols of the good things
he gives us."

And isn't it easy, when everything is going smooth, and life is good and you need shades the world is so bright. And we slip on those shades and color our vision until He's not the center anymore, but all the things we THINK make us happy and complete.

Such as the job we want.

That perfect relationship.

Perfect, well-behaved kids who are acing all their classes.

He wants these things for us as well, but not at the cost of our relationship with Him.

In Philippians 4:12, Paul says, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

That secret, my friends, is found in making God our all. Eldredge also wrote: "As long as our happiness is tied to the things we can lose, we are vulnerable."

Our happiness needs to be tied into the fact that He loves us, no matter what's going on. He loves us even when we don't get the job we want. He loves us even when our kids are fighting and we join in the fray. He loves us when we are being less than kind and caring to each other. He loves us. He loves us and He has our best interest at heart. He only ask to be the center of ours.

Then, as Paul summed up, "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." vs. 13.

I can do everything. Nothing will hinder me. Nothing will separate me from the love he has for me. A love that is wide and far reaching, that goes deep and past my fingertips high. There's no boundaries to it. No end. No beginning. We don't have to earn it. It's just there.

He loves me.

He love you.

forever and ever and ever, amen.

Wonderment Wednesday

2010-12-01T06:33:00.002-06:00

You God, are my God

earnestly I seek you;

I thirst for you,

my whole being longs for you,

in a dry and parched land

where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary

and beheld your power and your glory.

Because your love is better than life,

my lips will glorify you. . .

I will praise you as long as I live,

and in your name I will lift up my hands.

I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;

with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

On my bed I remember you;

I think of you through the watches of the night.

Because you are my help.

I sing in the shadow of your wings,

I cling to you;

your right hand upholds me.

Psalm 63:1-8

A Dry Season - The More I Seek You

2010-11-29T06:06:00.001-06:00

It amazes me how easily I can get off track. Just ever so slightly.

It's not like I wandered away, or turned my back on Him. But as Sunday rolled around after the Thanksgiving Holiday, I found a dry taste in my spirit. Parched. Hungry.

It's not like I hadn't prayed. Quick prayers, here and there. When I needed something. When I was confused. Sometimes, even a quick thanks when something worked out.

Still, after three days, I felt bone-dry in my heart and wondering where I'd gone wrong.

Then it hit me. I hadn't been spending time with Him. Yes, I was still communicating. Quick conversations. Request. Pleas for help.

Yet, during the holiday rush, and bustle, I'd forgotten to spend that quiet time. Just me and Him. In His quiet presence. Word open. Heart waiting to be filled. At His feet. Hanging on every word. Enjoying a time of being... just being... with Him.

This negligence happened so easily, right under my very nose and I didn't even see it happening. Things needed to be done. Shopping while the bargains were prime. There was family to do things with. Places to go. Things to accomplish.

And without His covering, I fell flat on my face Sunday morning, entangled in confusion, anxiety and guilt. Funny how easy it can happen.

"You gave me life and showed me kindness, and in your providence watched over my spirit." Job 10:12

Yet, He finds a way of redirecting my waywardness, of lifting my hanging head, of wiping away sorrowful tears. I'm reminded that I must make that choice to spend time with him, despite the season, activities, demands.

And the more that we seek Him...

the more we'll find Him.

the more we find Him

The more we love Him...

It's impossible to spend time in His presence without falling deeply, madly in love with Him.

(turn off the sidebar music and enjoy this video.)

Despite what season is upon us, don't forget what these seasons are all about. Find quiet times to sit at His feet, to hear His heart beats... to fill yourself with His love and peace.

Be blessed,

Wonderment Wednesdays -

2010-11-24T07:12:00.001-06:00

Rejoice in the Lord Always.

I will say it again: REJOICE!

Let your gentleness be evident to all.

The Lord is near.

Do not be anxious about anything,

but in everything,

by PRAYER and PETITION,

with thanksgiving, present your request to God.

And the peace of God,

which transcends all understanding

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally brothers,

whatever is true

whatever is pure,

whatever is lovely,

whatever is admirable,

--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--

think about such things.

Philippians 4:4-8

May the God of peace be with you always...

(my photos from random wanderings)

Why Are You Striving?

2010-11-22T06:08:00.001-06:00

This post first appeared over a year ago, but as I was strolling through my archives, I found some lessons have yet to be learned. So I'm reposting this one, with a bit of an update. I need to hear it again. I hope it'll bless you again as well. -enjoy!

The day rushes past, full of activities, trials and errors, maybe a bitter argument or harsh words, perhaps failed attempts. Every once in awhile, I can boast of a success. Boast. As if.

Taking my life into my own hands. Struggling to accomplish a never ending list of daily tasks. Racking my brain to figure out how to solve a problem. Banging my head when no answers come.
And in all this, when I've finally collapsed in a tired heap at the end of the day, having run out of myself... there He is. I feel Him. I hear His whisper, "Why didn't you call on me?"

John Eldredge said in his book, Walking With God that he often struggles with his own "driveness" that pushes and propels his life, and he says it comes as a result of "unbelief, from some deep fear that it's all up to me. Life is up to me. I've got to make as much headway as I can before the bottom drops out."

And that is how I often find myself thinking. It's not going to fix itself, so I better get after it. I. Me. The Master and Commander of my life. Yeah, right.

But He's good at waiting until I've run out of myself, my own energy, my own self-determination before he comes and his presence sits beside me, saying, "Why have you taken your eyes off me?"

I wanted to be a teacher. I sent out resumes, emails, visited schools, nearly everything I could possibly do aside from camping out in their office. Now I'm working as a substitute. I thought teaching was the right thing to do, maybe it will be eventually. But for now, He's put a burden on my heart to write again. To put everything I have into it. It's risky. So far, after three months, I've seen no return for it. Sometimes, I just want to throw up my hands and say, "What's going on God? I'm trying the best I can and look where it's getting me!"

The more I strive, the more I worry, the faster I come around to the realization that I'm going to have to trust Him, and the words He's spoken over me, His promises made. It's beyond me and I hate that. The human in me absolutely hates not being able to control this.

I have a feeling, that's exactly where He wants me, too. Because I'm going to have to learn how to trust Him. And the broken places in me are really afraid to trust too much. What if I don't get a job after all? What if I never sell a piece of writing? How will that make me look? How will I feel about that? And this seeps into every aspect of my life. Trusting Him with our finances. Trusting Him with our children, family. Trusting Him enough to step out in faith and do the things He's asked of me. What if I fail? What if I fall and skin my knee? What if that makes me look like I don't know what I'm doing? Which more often than not, I don't.

He wants to heal those broken places. Each of those shattered parts, chipped away from life's circumstances. Yet I try to hold onto my life, myself, fearful that if I stretch out my arms to him, all those fragments will scatter into a million pieces.

They wont, though.

Eldredge goes on to say, "The Bible says we can't hope to walk the path God would have us walk without the healing of our souls.... The path to freedom from all this pushing and striving involves both repentance and healing so that I can be made whole and holy by his love."

Jesus said in Matthew 13:15:

"For this people's heart has become calloused;
they hardly hear with their ears,
and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
hear with their ears,
understand with their heart and turn,
and I would heal them."

Heal them. He yearns for us to turn to him, let Him heal us. Let Him have control. Don't be hard hearted. Don't walk with a blindfold on, and wax in your ears. Look to me. Hear my voice.

Father God,
Help me to connect my heart to yours. May I be able to stop and look to you for help, and to listen to the words you give me. I wish to walk in truth, with you by my side. Amen.

A friend shared this song with me awhile ago and as I thought about this article, it came back to me tonight. So turn off the sidebar music and I hope you enjoy "By Your Side" from Tenth Avenue North.

Blog Post of the Week: 6 Things Every Christian Blogger Should Know

2010-11-19T06:10:00.001-06:00

This weeks post made me stop in my tracks. I like to think I'm pretty good at giving God control, and maybe I do, in a sense. But I still have a tendance to grasp onto that need to please people, to find acceptance and validation for what I do. What I write. But it goes farther than that.

I want to be seen as a good parent, because I believe I'm not. I get hurt easily by my kids when they don't seem to appreciate me, or listen to my oh-so-wise words, or follow through on my request. And I look to God while pointing an angry finger at them and say, "Look what they are doing!"

I would like to be a wonderful wife, but when my expectations of my husband fall short, when he lets me down, when not all of MY needs are met, I turn to God and stomp my foot as I cry, "How can I be a help-mate to someone who treats me like that!?!"

In my writing I put out one article and story after another, telling God, "I'm sending this out now. Lord, I need to make a living doing this if you really want me to keep doing this. I have bills to pay, you know."

As I read Six Things Every Christian Blogger Should Know written by Ann Voskamp, I stopped about midway through and wondered,

"Who the heck to I think I am? Seriously?"

And I began to do some quick apologizing and repenting.

Thing is, it's not about what my family does or doesn't do. Nor does my writing depend on how much I make... or don't make. When I'm a kingdom servant, I work unto God, not men. Whatever I do is in service to my Father God who knows all my needs, who is my one and only validation.

I don't need to worry, nor do I need to strive. It doesn't matter what others do, or what they think. I must keep my eyes focused on Him, my ears attuned to His words and my feet walking in the direction He has pointed out.

Everything is meaningless, a chasing after the wind, (Ecc 4:4) unless I'm putting all I do, into God's hands.

I hope you enjoy the post. It's a powerful message. Just click on the title link above to get over to it.

Blessings,

J.

Wonderment Wednesday- Matthew 7

2010-11-17T21:52:00.001-06:00

Ask and it will be given to you;

Seek and you will find;

Knock and the door will be opened to you.

For everyone who asks receives;

He who seeks finds;

And to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in Heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

So, in everything, do unto others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
Matthew 7:7-13

Be blessed,

Creating a work in progress

2010-11-15T06:09:00.001-06:00

We are but a work in progress....

I sit before the easel, blank, white, full of possibilities. Grabbing a charcoal pencil, I sketch a design, images as the completed project forms in my mind. I see it clear, eyes closed, but once opened again, it's no more than vague lines.

Dipping paintbrush into a swirl of color, bristles sweep across white expanse and a thrill erupts in my heart. We are on our way. What will happen? How will it all come out in the end?

More colors. More splashes. Oh, but it's not quite what I had in mind. It's actually kind of messy. I wipe up drips of paint off my shoes and floor.

Almost, as if taking on a life of it's own, the paint and brush sweep, blend, mesh and I gasp, "No, not quiet what I had in mind." I fight back, trying to regain control. Add more yellow. Yet the blue grasp and changes it to green.

In this tug-of-war endeavor of creating, I find I can hear God quiet clearly in the brush strokes.

"I understand your frustration. It's how I feel while I'm trying to mold you and
you have your own ideas. Your own color scheme... Yes, dear one, I
understand completely."

I stop and set my brush down. "I do, don't I? You say yellow and I want orange. You draw a crisp, straight line and say don't cross, yet my toe constantly brushes against, blurring it. Yes, it must be frustrating for you as well."

Yet I don't give up.

He doesn't either.

I wait for paint to dry.
So He waits as well.

I take my time.
So does He.

I am patient.

So is He.

As my project nears completion, I add defining lines, light and definition to each form.

In my life, I feel him doing the same. Setting boundaries. Highlighting the good in me. Defining who I am.

I start off as a big mess. A swirl of assorted colors. No real form. But he creates in my mess of a life, a work of art if I'll let him. His masterpiece. Something that bears His name.

And I want to proudly bear his name. I want to be a thing of beauty that brings joy to those who behold the work he's done in me.

In this video, the late Rich Mullins talks about God working in our lives. Later in the clip, he speaks about what God does with the junk we've made of our lives. Turn off the sidebar music as you listen to this wonderful man's wisdom. Hope you enjoy!

Be Blessed,

Blog Post of the Week: Lisa Buffaloe's blog

2010-11-12T06:00:00.002-06:00

I usually like to point you to one specific post that touched me this week, but with Lisa, it's too hard to pin just one particular entry. This past week I've talked about worry. I've shared my thoughts. I've shared scripture and what Jesus thought about it. . .

The thing with Lisa is that her very life is a testimony to overcoming worry. This dear friend has faced some neck-bending obstacles, yet has found a way to get over each one. But I know for a fact, she hasn't done it alone. With each step, she learned to lean heavily on her Lord.

This post in particular seemed to put the cap on the worry bottle. When you read it, you'll see that even when we aren't aware of what's going on, God is in control and he makes a way around the bad places. That is His great love for us in action.

Click on the link to read Wonderfully Made.

And while you're there, why not check out the list Lisa came up with of scriptures that tell about how God feels about you. Read, When you need those reminders that God loves you.

You know, while your there, just have a good look around. Lisa is a true blessing.

But before you go... sit back and listen to this beautiful song and think about what I've said this week. Set your worries in His lap. Enjoy your life, friends. He loves us so very much. He's given us such beauty, so many good things. Don't let a couple of bad apples ... well, you know. Right?

Don't forget to turn off the music on the sidebar before you hit play. Be blessed~ J.

Wonderment Wednesday - Matthew 6

2010-11-10T06:00:00.001-06:00

LOOK... at the birds of the air...

they neither sow or reap or store away in barns

And yet... And yet

Your heavenly Father feeds them.

Are you not

much more valuable than they?

LOOK... at the flowers

how they grow... no laboring and sewing

And Yet... And Yet...

Not even those in their finest dress can compare to the splendor...

So...
If this is how God clothes the grass of the field that is here today and

tomorrow is thrown into the fire,

Will. He. Not. Much. More. Clothe. YOU?

Do not worry, your Father knows what you need!

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness

and all these things will be given to you as well.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself.

Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:26-34

Worry-Warts and Letting Go of The Ball

2010-11-08T05:59:00.000-06:00

A friend was telling me how her dog loved playing with toys. This dog loved his toys so much, he would become anxious about them to the point of making himself miserable.

One day, the dog had a new ball and refused to let go of it, being afraid of losing it or someone taking it. She later found the dog under the table, panting and looking longingly at his water bowl. He wouldn't even let go of it to get himself a drink. So he just laid under that table, panting, hot and unhappy. But he had his ball!

It made me think of the times when I have gotten something I really loved and instead of enjoying it, I worried over it. What if it broke? What if I messed it up? Or if I loaned it to someone and they messed it up?

Then my thoughts wondered past the little worries in life as I remember how often I've worried over a job: Am I working hard enough? Does everyone like me? Am I doing it right? What if I get fired? Or they say I'm no good?

Or how about that new car: What if I get in a wreck? The new house: What if we can't afford it? What if something goes wrong? Or maybe a relationship: What if it doesn't work out? What if I do something stupid to make them mad?

Just how many good gifts do we spoil with our worry?

Jesus said: "Don't worry about your life. Don't worry saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' For the lost children - (those who don't know the Heavenly Father who rains down good and perfect gifts on his children. The Heavenly Father who waters the earth, clothes the fields and provides food and shelter for all living creatures)- they go after such things. Your Heavenly Father knows what you need." Matthew 6:25-32 paraphrased

I know this, yet I still worry. Why can't I get this down in my heart? That no matter what life throws at me, I'm loved. He will take care of me because I love Him? For I do. I love Him so very much. No, I'm not perfect. Yes I mess up a lot. But His grace is sufficient. His love fills in our gaps. That's what the Bible says. Right?

My friend went on to tell me how she sat down at the table where her dog lay and looked down at him. And I don't care what people think about dogs, when they love you, they understand everything you say. I don't know how, but they do. She told her little furry friend that he was making himself miserable with that toy and he needed to give it to her. She would keep it safe.

And he did! Which shocked even her. He set the ball in her lap and ran over to get a drink. After that, he was perfectly happy.

Isn't that how it needs to be with the Lord? We need to set our cares in his lap before we harm ourselves. Before we dry up.

Psalm 55:22 says: Casts your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; for he will never let the righteous fall.

1 Peter 5:7 says: Casts all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you.

I leave you with these words from a wise man to ponder:

"I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil--this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever' nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him." - Solomon in Ecclesiastes 3:12-14

Be blessed!

Wonderment Wednesday - Psalms 86

2010-11-03T05:54:00.000-05:00

Hear, O Lord, and answer me

for I am poor and needy.

Guard my life, for I am devoted to you.

You are my God, save your servant who trusts in you.

Teach me your way, O Lord,

and I will walk in your truth;

give me an undivided heart,

that I may fear your name.

I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart.

I will glorify your name forever.

For great is your love toward me:

YOU have delivered me from the depths of the grave.

(Psalms 86:1-2 & 11-13)

Come As You Are

2010-11-01T06:34:00.000-05:00

I've heard this song over the past few weeks and finally came across the video and it just seemed right for today.

It's comforting to know that no matter where we are, Jesus loves us right there. I haven't been the most pleasant person to live with lately. I've gotten angry, have raged, cried, and ranted. My heart has often been filled with ugliness and hurt, instead of His joy and gladness.

Yet, in all that, I never felt Him leave me. Even in my darkest moments, He remained at my side, whispering comfort when I got still long enough to hear him. And I believe, that's how He is with all his children. He's not afraid of our miseries. To Him, they are a melody, as the song says. In our weakness, He is made strong. Why do we have to deal with our weaknesses? Because His grace is sufficient. Because it forces us to our knees and we have no where else but Him to turn.

We don't have to clean ourselves up to approach him. We come as we are. With all our fallacies and faults. He's okay with it. Just come.

Turn off the sidebar music and listen to Amy Grant talk about how she came upon this song and what it meant to her. Then sit back and enjoy the song itself. Be bless, my friends.

(Be sure to click the stop button on the sidebar music)

Blog Post of the Week: You Are Enough

2010-10-29T06:24:00.000-05:00

After writing Monday's post, (which I actually wrote Sunday morning) I was looking at my email. Everyday, I get feed from DaySpring's (in)Courage. What is (in)Courage, you might ask? Well, here's an excerpt from the site.

When we asked ourselves what kind of place we were building, we finally came to see it as a bit like a beach house. You can put your sandy, dirty feet on the coffee table, laugh late into the night with friends, and also hear God’s voice clearer than perhaps anywhere else. Life just feels more vibrant and real, as if you’ve stumbled upon a glimpse of heaven and it’s nothing like you ever imagined but everything you’d always hoped.

In Sunday's email post was a piece by Arianne from To Think is To Create. What I would like to direct you to this week, was her post titled You Are Enough. It was like she heard before hand my post on Monday, my questions about fear, and self-doubts and in poetic form, and reminded me that I Am Enough, just as I am, with all my failures and mess-up and craziness.

It was nice to hear.

Hope it blesses you as well. Check out both sites, they are sure to enrich your day.

God Bless,

Wednesday Wonderment - Psalm 23

2010-10-27T06:38:00.001-05:00

The LORD is my shepherd; I have everything I need.

You, my God, are my protector, provider, my best friend in good and bad.

He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams.

Father, I find my peace in You and only in You.

He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.

Even when I walk through the dark valley of death, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.

In weariness you will carry me. In confusion, you point the way. In fear, you walk right by my side. In danger, your hand is upon me and my enemies haven't a chance against You, O' Mighty God.

You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You welcome me as a guest, anointing my head with oil.

My cup overflows with blessings.

When have I lacked? When have I hungered? When have I had to go without? Never! For You, my Lord, have always provided, always made a way and for that I'm am eternally grateful.

How can my mere words express my thankfulness to You?

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the LORD forever.

Psalm 23 (NLT)

A re-post that's been modified a bit for what's on my heart today. His mercy, grace and provision never, ever, never fail us.

Photo of pond from Charis Canyon, Grace Ministries International retreat.

When we are Much-Afraid...

2010-10-25T06:48:00.001-05:00

She walked singing across the first field and was halfway over the next when suddenly she saw Craven Fear himself coming toward her. Poor Much-Afraid: for a little while she had completely forgotten the existences of her dreadful relatives, and now here was the most dreaded and detested of them all slouching toward her. (Hinds Feet On High Places: pgs 31-33)

Sometimes, my life feels like a roller-coaster. I'm happily skipping along, feeling good about my accomplishments, feeling good about where I'm going and feeling good about what I've accomplished. I feel my Shepherd's pleasure. I've recently been in His presence and all the junk has fled. My heart feels like singing. My steps are light. And then here it comes... on of those "dreadful relatives." Call him Fear, Failure, Irritation, Loss, Disappointment, Conflict. They are all from the same family.

And like Much-Afraid, I find myself unable to stop it.

She looked right and left, but there was no hiding place anywhere, and besides it was all too obvious that he was actually coming to meet her, for as soon as he saw her he quickened his pace and in a moment or two was right beside her.

The dip happens so quick. The road takes a violent downward tip and your heart flees and your stomach is up in your throat.

I see it coming. Honestly, I try to avoid it, yet am paralyzed to move, to hide, to turn the other way and before I know it, he is right there, in my face, nasty breath, evil look and cruel words. "Who do you think you're fooling?" He jeers.

"You are nothing and will always be nothing." Blah, blah, blah... it goes on and on and I'm sure you've heard your own words. He knows so well how to push our buttons. He knows so well where the wounds are, how to poke and make them hurt worse.

She shrank away from him and shook with terror and loathing. Unfortunately this was the worst thing she could have done, for it was always her obvious fear which encouraged him to continue tormenting her. If only she could have ignored him, he soon would have tired of teasing and of her company and would have wandered off to look for other prey. In all her life, however, Much-Afraid had never been able to ignore Fear. Now it was absolutely beyond her power to conceal the dread which she felt.

That's the problem isn't it? I can recognize it, but why do I feel powerless to ignore it? Why can't I push the daunting thoughts, the nagging, the doubts away and focus only on Him and His truth? Why can't I call out His name in praises for if I would, they would flee.

Here she was, alone and completely in his power. He caught hold of her, and poor Much-Afraid uttered one frenzied cry of terror and pain....
The Shepherd had approached them unperceived and was standing beside them. One look at his stern face and flashing eyes and the stout Shepherd's cudgel grasped in his strong, uplifted hand was more than enough for the bully.

Doesn't the Bible say--

But I call to God, and the Lord saves me. Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice. He ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me. Psalm 55:17-19

He is always there. I know this. I KNOW this!! So why do I allow myself to fall prey to the bullying? Why do I let despair step on my toes? Why do I allow anger to wrap itself around me like a blanket, a smothering blanket. Why?

Much-Afraid burst into tears. Of course she ought to have known that Craven was a coward and that if only she had lifted her voice and called for the Shepherd, he would have fled at once.... She was overwhelmed with shame that she has so quickly acted like her old name and nature, which she had hoped was beginning to be changed already.

It is a process of change, I suppose. As we journey, like Much-Afraid, to the High Places, and with each step, the old does begin to fall off and the new shines through. At least I'm able to recognize those "dreadful relatives" as before I wouldn't have seen them coming. I see them now. I know who they are. And I do know that my Shepherd will come for me and with his "stern face and flashing eyes" He will send my enemies running.

The Lord is my shepherd;

I have everything I need.

He lets me rest in green meadows;

he leads me beside peaceful streams.

He renews my strength.

He guides me along right paths;

bringing honor to his name.

Even when I walk through the dark valley of death,

I will not be afraid,

for you are close beside me.

Your rod and your staff

protect and comfort me.

You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies.

You welcome me as a guest,

anointing my head with oil.

My cup overflows with blessings.

Surely your goodness and unfailing love

will pursue me

all the days of my life

and I will live in the house of the LORD forever.

Psalm 23 (NLT)

Amen and amen!

Excerpts from Hinds Feet On High Places by Hannah Hurnard from the chapter 1 " Invitation To The High Places"

If you haven't read this book, Friend, I highly encourage you to go find yourself a copy. I know of nobody who has read this book without having a life changing experience. Honest.

Blog Post of The Week

2010-10-22T05:55:00.002-05:00

I came across a blog post this week that really... well, it spoke to my heart. It spoke something I've been in a tangle about with God. What does it mean to reach out to others? Is it our "job" to teach, lead them on the right paths, cajole or nag...? Or is it our responsibility as Christians, as Children of God to simply be a friend?

The video on this blog I'm linking you to gave a real life example of someone who reached out and did exactly what I think Jesus wants us to do.

Be a friend.

I hope it blesses you as much as it blessed me.
J

Vonda Skelton - Love or Hate?

Wonderment Wednesday

2010-10-20T06:02:00.001-05:00

THEREFORE, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses...

let us throw off EVERYTHING that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles,

and let us RUN with perseverance the race marked out for us.

Let us FIX our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith,

who for the JOY set before him endured the cross,

scorning its shame,

and sat down at the right hand of the THRONE OF GOD.

Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men,

so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Hebrews 12:1-3

It's all about where we focus our eyes... on our circumstances and problems, or on him? Let him be our role model. If he can do it, so can we.

Don't give up, friends.

The Secret of Contentment

2010-10-18T06:04:00.002-05:00

I know what is is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.
I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether
well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
Philippians 4:12
Wish I could say I epitomized this scripture. But I don't.

However, I have learned how not to panic, most of the time, when things don't go the way I had planned. Most of the time. Perhaps 80/20. Ok, Ok, 70/30. Whatever.

In my certification classes, the instructors said that, as teachers, we need to be flexible and ready to handle change at a moments notice. Eeish. Like, as if. Who really does that anymore? I mean, really?

What I have learned, however, is that whatever I face, or whatever hits me from behind, I'm not alone in dealing with it. Earlier this week, I visited one of my favorite blogs, and found a wonderful phrase from the author which I've copied in my journal so I can remember it.

"Pray, process all the steps through in your mind, and prepare... and don't stop praying."

This is something I have learned while walking with the Holy Spirit. I have found that when I don't panic, if I'll just take a deep breath and ask, "what now?" An answer will come.

As I pondered this, another scripture came to me from Ephesians 6:13-"Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so when the day of evil comes, (such as troubles, challenges, obstacles, conflicts or disappointments) you may be able to stand your ground, (Pray, process, prepare and pray some more) and after you have done everything, to stand." Then in vs 18, it goes on to say: "And pray in the spirit on all occasions with all kind of prayer and request. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints."

Be alert.

That means keeping my eyes outward focused and not inward focused.

Pray, process, prepare and Pray!

Stand your ground, and after you've done everything, keep standing.
Keep praying.
Keep listening.
Then pray some more.

Father God, Keep me from getting knocked off my feet when things don't go my way. Help me to stand firm and know without a doubt, that you are in control of my live. May I remember to stop and seek out your wisdom when faced with obstacles. May I learn the secret of being content in any and every situation. Help me learn this. Teach me your ways, O Lord. I love you. Thank you for your many blessings and provisions. Amen.

Rest in ease, my friends!
J
This is from my archives. I needed to be reminded. Hope it blesses you again as it has me.

Life Support: A Way To Find Enjoyment

2010-10-15T06:49:00.000-05:00

This came in my email and I thought, "This is good and it really encourages me. And it seems to be going right along with what I've been writing about lately."

So, I'm sharing it with you, my friends. At the end, there's a link you can click if you want to read more of Steve's work.

God Bless,

A WAY TO FIND ENJOYMENT

At one time, Bangkok television aired the American situation comedy LaVerne and Shirley. For whatever reason, officials there believed that a disclaimer was necessary for the Thailand audience, so this subtitle was added to each show: "The two women depicted in the following episode are from an insane asylum."

Personally, I'm thankful there is a little silliness in the world. And I don't mind not acting like everybody else.

Like the "irrepressible" educator and speaker Leo Buscaglia once said: "I don't mind if people think I'm crazy. In fact, I think it's great! It gives me tremendous latitude for behavior."

Buscaglia knew how to laugh. And I think knowing how to laugh and have fun is an important part of living.

Someone asked me what I do for fun. I felt I should answer with something others enjoy, like golf or skiing. But my idea of fun is not usually associated with entertainment and recreation. It is more about squeezing as much enjoyment into every day as I can. Instead of looking for something fun to do, I try to make whatever I do a little more fun. And if I can't always do things I enjoy, I can learn to enjoy more of the things I do.

I like the word "enjoyment" because it has "joy" inside of it. So does the word "rejoice." And rejoicing is a way to find enjoyment of life.

Speaking of Leo Buscaglia, he used to tell a story about his mother and their "misery dinner."

It was the night after his father came home and said it looked as if he would have to go into bankruptcy because his partner had absconded with their firm's funds. His mother's response was to sell some of her jewelry to buy food enough for a grand feast. At first, other members of the family scolded her for it. But she told them that "the time for joy is now, when we need it most, not next week."

They learned to appreciate the hopeful attitude that lifted them out of fear and into joy.

I want to learn to be happy even in those difficult and trying times. I won't be happy FOR them (who likes problems?), just IN them. I need the soothing medicine of laughter when it hurts. I want to learn that the time for joy is now, when I need it most.

Maybe it sounds silly, but I want to learn to rejoice in all things. And If I'm doing that well, it really doesn't matter what I like to do for fun.

-- Steve Goodier

Life Support Systems

Traveling The Dark Paths

2010-10-11T06:15:00.000-05:00

Lately, I’ve been down in the dumps. Allowing life to kick me around. Leaving an open door for the enemy to come in and eat my lunch.

People will say, “You need to kick him out. You need to get up, dust yourself off and keep going.”

And I do. I know. I really do know and have given the same advice myself.

But there are just sometimes when depression gets such a firm hold on you, and it won’t let go. Sometimes, it yanks so hard you find the world tumbling down into a dark abyss and you can’t see to find the way back out. Then what?

Well, if it gets too bad, I suggest you seek help. If not a professional, then at least a friend who you know has the heart to walk through those dark places with you.

Along with that, remember this:

“Where can I go from Your spirit?
Where can I flee from Your presence?
If
I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the
dawn,
If I settle on the far side of the sea,
Even there your hand will
guide me,
Your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, ‘Surely the
darkness will hide me,
And the light become night around me,’
Even the
darkness will not be dark to You;”
Psalm 139:7-12

~AND~

“Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil, for You
are with me;
Your rod and Your staff,
they comfort me.”
Psalm 23:4

With or without people around to help, with or without professional help, we keep going. If we love God and belong to Him, then we don’t go through the dark places alone. He’s right there. He’ll never leave or forsake. He doesn’t promise happiness and sunshine every day. But He does promise that His presence will go where we go if we will only seek him. And if we seek Him, the darkness will flee. It has to. He says He is light and God doesn’t lie. Never.

Amen.

The Search for Contentment

2010-10-08T06:33:00.000-05:00

The day stretches out ahead of me as I get up, dressed and run over the many things I need to do, should get done, and really want to do. The cooler weather calls for me to come out and play. A dirty house demands I stay home and take care of responsibilities. Words circle around my head like a tempest, dancing and spiraling and begging to get out.

And I'm left in a state of confusion... what should I do with myself?

I feel like a fly that's zooming along haphazardly, only to find itself tangled up in a silken, almost invisible web and I have no idea what to do next.

I want to be effective. I want to get things done instead of looking back at another wasted day. Most of the time my day is wasted by tripping over myself with worries, frets that I can't do this or that right, the words wont come and if they do they'll be all jumbled and make no sense.

My self-confidence deflates. And once again, I'm having to stop to clean up some mess of myself.

Then I ask God, "What should I do? What do you want from me?"

And I know, He's already told me and for some reason, I can't make myself follow through with His directions. They're risky. What if I fail? What if someone gets upset with me? I'll mess it up. I won't... I can't... I'm hopeless.

Eeeish.

I don't know why I have to put myself through all that. I know, without a doubt, that when I walk in God's will, everything eventually works out.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I know this is true. So why do I still struggle? Still doubt?

I saw the movie Eat, Pray, Love a month back and it really intrigued me. Yet I left the theater knowing something was missing in the movie that there had to be more to why she did what she did. Why did she travel the world on a spiritual journey. What was she searching for and did she really find it and how did she find it? The book, is answering those questions and I'm rather enjoying it.

Her journey to finding a connection to God is interesting. Not the course I would personally take, but each of us have to find our own path to Him.

The other day, I was reading toward the end and was struck by this paragraph:

"The search for contentment is, therefore, not merely a self-preserving and self-benefiting act, but also a generous gift to the world. Clearing out all your misery gets you out of the way. You cease being an obstacle, not only to yourself but to anyone else. Only then are you free to serve and enjoy other people." Elizabeth Gilbert from Eat, Pray, Love.

It made me think. I clog myself from being productive not only for myself, but my family and my world. Allowing my self-doubts and depression to grab me and shake me up stops me from being all God has created me to be in this time and place. I'm here for a reason. We all are. Some have big, enormous reasons, some small, unnoticed reasons. But there's a plan and purpose all the same.

When I have my eyes on me, I'm going to stumble and fall. When I have my eyes on the road ahead, on Him, I'll not trip and He will catch me if I do. It's about putting my trust in God and His ways.

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity." Jer. 29:12-14

Lord, set me free from myself so that I can live in freedom and be all that you've created me to be. Amen.
j.

Wonderment Wednesday - Ecclesiastes 12

2010-10-06T06:04:00.000-05:00

Besides being wise himself, the Quester also taught others knowledge. He weighed, examined, and arranged many proverbs. The Quester did his best to find the right words and write the plain truth.

The words of the wise prod us to live well.
They're like nails hammered home, holding life together.
They are given by God, the one Shepherd.

But regarding anything beyond this, dear friend, go easy. There's no end to the publishing of books, and constant study wears you out so you're no good for anything else. The last and final word is this:

Fear God.

Do what He tells you.

And that's it. Eventually God will bring everything that we do out into the open and judge it according to its hidden intent, whether it's good or evil.

(Ecc. 12:9-14 MSG)

If Only If...

2010-10-03T06:08:00.000-05:00

Strangest thing, I've been plagued this week by these words:

"Life would be easier"...

That phrase has been stuck on my phone and every time I open my text file, there it is.

Life would be easier if... what?

If we weren't daily harassed by one problem after another?

If people would only speak encouraging words and not say negative things?

If we won the lottery?

If we never had to worry, or strive or struggle ... for whatever it is we worry over, strive after, struggle for.

I know I'm tired, too. Tired of fighting. Tired of the turmoil a home can boil up. When all the different personalities clash in conflict like thunderous winds on a stormy night. The hateful words pour down, pounding hearts and souls. Blast of lighting in the curses shot back and forth.

Life would be easier if…

if only if…

There weren't so many disappointments. So many hurts caused by someone loved or not so loved. Hurts I've thrown right back, as well.

The times I question, “Why even try? Why waste my time?” When I feel like a failure. I can’t do it, I refuse to take another step. When I want to give up and run for the hills. Yet each morning, I find myself getting back up, trudging the same path from shower to closet as I get ready to try, try again. To head into a job I’m unsure I'm any good at. Or to sit at a blank screen knowing that the words I’ve spent hours on may never leave the digital file they were created in.

At the end of his life, Solomon wrote: "Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun." Ecclesiastes 2:11

Life would be easier... if only if...

Then I look around and see the friend struggling to hold on to their life in a epic battle with cancer. Or the couple who've both just been laid off from their jobs and now have no income to support themselves. I listen to the child read his essay about how his father rejected him as a son. And I'm supposed to critique him on his sentence structure when my heart has been nipped by his words and the quick way he swiped at his eyes as he read. I watch another child struggle to keep up because his mind doesn't work as fast as the others. In frustration, he acts out and nobody knows what to do.

Yeah, life would be easier... if... if what?

Everybody has something stuffed down deep in their pockets. Every once in awhile they might pull it out to show someone before they stuff it back in. What does one do? Sometimes... most times, I'm at a loss.

Hurt is no respecter of persons. It pretty much spreads itself around one way or another. So does disappointment, fear, condemnation, anger… all that nasty stuff that bears its sharp teeth and rips apart hearts and spirits.

You know what I think would make life easier?

If I could get myself to a place where I love, encourage, accept and comfort more than all the other crap I do. (sorry, I tried to think of a nicer word for what I'm thinking and found none.)

Life would be easier… if I could love like Jesus loved. Despite what was done to him, he loved. Oh how he loved.

I want to. I want to be so pouring over with compassion that I can say to someone who has none, “Here, you can have some of mine.”

Lately I've felt all dried up and empty.

I want to be an outward looker instead of an inward seeker.

God help me! Change me. From the inside out. I don’t want to look back like Solomon who had everything and then some … and think everything is all a waste. Please, please, please don’t let me come to such an end.

Please?

Amen.

Finding Peace

2010-09-27T06:00:00.002-05:00

Another one worth reposting--

I keep hearing this song run thorough my mind--

I've got peace like a river,
I've got peace like a river
I've got peace like a river in my soul.

Problem is, rivers aren't always peaceful.

Neither is life.

Face it, we search for peace, pray for peace, think if we simply had this or that, we'd find peace.

But we don't.

Life is fast moving, full of rapids and shallow places. The easy flow of deep waters is less often experienced than we'd like.

No, peace isn't something to be grasped.

I really began thinking about this after a particularily rough week when my faith was tested and unfortunately, I found myself failing. I'm taking steps of faith and find the ground kind of unstable. Yet God's spirit continues to pull me along, depsite the rough, spashing current and stomach churning dips and surges.

I've screamed and cried all along the way. I don't like wild rides. I avoid roller-coasters like I'd avoid a person with a deadly plague. No kidding.

The uncertainity of the situation, the having to really have faith that I'm hearing God, that he has a plan and purpose was more than I had in me to withstand. I begged God for confirmation.

"Please tell me, just one more time, this is what I'm supposed to do."

Yes, I'd had words before. But I needed another. That old one had wore off. Maybe things had changed. Maybe He'd changed his mind. Just one more word and I'd have peace about it. Or one call, something to give me hope that I was going in the right direction.

Then I came across A Holy Experience blog and a particular post about Joy where Ann Voskamp wrote

"Possessions in our hands are never as valuable as
Peace in our hearts."

Then in small words beneath this phrase, I read:
Peace is a Person

And I realized, it's not what we have, or hear, or hold. It's not in the seeing things happen the way we hope they'll happen. It's not in avoiding risks, jumping out of the innertube before you hit the rapids and swimming to the safety of the shore. No, peace is found in that Person, the One who gave His all for us, Who dwells in our hearts if we'll let Him.

That's our true sourse of peace.

It's in Him

And only Him.

A friend sent me the words to the song in this video from Third Day. I found it summed up my thoughts on all of this.

This part stood out the most:

"Give me a revelation
I've got nothing without you,
I've got nothing without you."

Real peace comes from Jesus' presence in our lives. Trusting that He loves us and will guide us in the right direction. Yeah, we'll get hurt from time to time. No we won't always have things the way we want. Yeah, we'll have to ride the rapids sometimes and others, we'll have to carry our boats past the shallow, stagnant parts. But we can rest in the peace that He's right by our side, that he understands each and every situation we go through. He lived amongst us. He knows. He knows.

Father,

Help us to find our peace in you, understanding that when we seek you first, everything else will follow along as it should, as your plan unfolds. You love us. You have good in store for us and protection in the rough spots. Thank you for your willingness to dwell with, within and all around us.

Amen

photo is of a friend's pond

video is from YouTube- Third Day's Revelation

Lighthouse Everything Skit

2010-09-24T06:00:00.000-05:00

This is such a powerful skit and beautiful song. There's not much to add. Just watch! Especially if you've never seen it before. If so, watch it again!!

Turn off music on the sidebar and enjoy. Be blessed.

In The Silence

2010-09-20T06:20:00.001-05:00

We sat at the large oak dining table. Colorful, translucent beads, separated into bowls, spread across the glossy surface. Grandma picked an amber one with a long needle, followed by a tiny gold, then back for another amber. Her red-rose lips moved as she silently counted.

I watched her, my 8 year-old feet swinging back-and-forth because they still didn’t touch the ground from the high-backed chair. Once again, I’d lost the number of beads I’d collected and had to start over. We were working on some kind of decoration that looked like tiny chandeliers but had no other name than “purty” for it. Grandma, who loved knitting, crocheting and making little things had them hanging all over her house.

That day, she’d invited me to join her.

The silence between us stretched on like the nylon string connecting the beads together. Once I opened my mouth to say something, then stopped, the words halting in my throat like they couldn’t stand to interrupt the quietness. I threaded more blue beads. I liked blue, it reminded me of the sky and being outdoors and running. My heels bumped the chair legs.

Another thought entered my head and dared to escape my lips, but again halted. I couldn’t get my mouth to speak. Eventually, I gave up. Just being there, with my grandma was enough. She’d look up from her work every once in a while, give me a wink, and then refocused on her hand’s work.

That was enough.

When I go to God, oftentimes I have the same problem. Thoughts, words, wants, needs, desires, demands all come pouring out. Few are the times when I will allow sitting silently in His presence be enough. Yet, it’s in the silence that we can find Him.

The Lord said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
1 Kings 19:11-13

May we find peace in the silent moments and simply enjoy His quiet presence.

The Poor In Spirit...

2010-09-17T06:05:00.000-05:00

Blessed are the poor in spirit,

For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Matt. 5:3

I hadn’t fully grasped the concept of poor in spirit before. I always thought it meant someone who was down, sad, perhaps. Yet I think it may be more than that.

The poor. Without. Destitute.

At the end of your resources.

Completely empty.

Done.

This is what I’d written in my journal Monday morning. “Lord, you have to step in. I give up. I have no more fight in me.”

Blessed are the poor, those who have nothing, those who have run out…

For theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.

The Kingdom of endless supply. The kingdom that knows no bounds.

It is from this kingdom, where all his children dwell, both rich and poor that all can draw from and find all they need. It’s the Kingdom where God dwells. It’s the place where love rules.

“For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you being rooted and established in love may have power together with all the Lord’s people to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:14-19

I had given up on a situation. I just had no more fight in me. And when I told the Lord that I was empty, He sent someone that was full to help out. This person gave the encouragement and wise counsel that we needed to keep going.

And such is the Kingdom of God. When we are strong, we feed into the poor. When we are weak, someone who’s strong feeds into us. This is how I believe God intends for it to be. It’s why He tells us not to store up treasures on earth, but rather in His Kingdom. The Kingdom that’s never ending.

When we are part of the Kingdom, it’s ours. It supplies our needs. Provides shelter. It’s giving and receiving and giving back. It’s taking care of an orphan, or helping to feed the elderly who can’t fix their own meals, or encouraging a friend who is discouraged.

God didn’t get angry over my weakness. He didn’t lecture me about complaining or whining. He stepped in and He picked me up and He said, “Look little one, there’s still hope. I’m here. I’ll provide.”

And He does. And He will for all of his beloveds out there.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

Wonderment Wednesday

2010-09-15T05:19:00.001-05:00

Your steadfast LOVE, O LORD, extends to the heavens,

your FAITHFULNESS to the skies.

Your RIGHTOUSNESS is like the MighTy MounTains,

your JUDGEMENTS are like the great deep;

You save humans and animals alike, O LORD.
How precious is your steadfast love, O GOD!
All people may take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
They feast on the abundance of your house, and you give them drink from the river of your delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.

O continue your steadfast love to those who know you,
and your salvation to the upright of heart!
Do not let the foot of the arrogant tread on me, or the hand of the wicked drive me away.

There the evildoers lie prostrate; they are thrust down, unable to rise.
Psalm 36:5-12

(turn off the music on the sidebar for Third Day's Your Love)

The Need To Be Right

2010-09-13T06:17:00.000-05:00

Over the past week, I've been reading a Facebook friend's post that generally stirs up a lot of debate and sometimes a good scuffle or two. Good thing there's cyberspace separating some people, or I swear fur would fly.

Most disagreements are over the need to be right.

Generally, though, I think people really want to be heard. We have a thought. A belief. Right or wrong, it's ours and we love them.

Why can't we just hear each other? Why does it need to turn into a "you are wrong and I'm right and I'll not back down until you see things my way."

What's up with that? Even I find myself falling into this same exact mind pattern. Is it really that we think we can save others from their fallacy? From their errant beliefs? Does God give out "My Name is: Fact" badges?

I bet He doesn't.

However, I bet the enemy has a storage shed full of them and they are made by the company "Pride is Us."

Maybe, perhaps, it's something even more deeper than pride. The other day I was reading something a friend posted awhile back and he attributed this need to be right to fear. I paused a moment, letting that sink in.

Fear.

He might be on to something.

Being that lone tree in the middle of a grassy plain is hard.

The winds buffet its branches, water is generally in short supply. And they tend to stick out like a wart on the end of a nose.

I had a dilemma last week, and I knew how most of my friends would respond. Yet, I felt like I was right on this matter. In talking to a friend about it, I said, "I can do anything, no matter how hard, so long as I know at least one person agrees with me."

Though that's how I really felt on the matter, it was a most ridiculous notion. Seriously. Because thing is, if I've prayed it though, am following my convictions then it's not necessary to caveman drag other people by the hair roots to my way of thinking.

I'm not here to save the world. Jesus is.

I have no control over life. God does.

I can't convict. The Holy Spirit does that.

I simply need to do the best I can, speak what I believe is right. Unfortunately, sometimes what you think if perfect logic turn out not to be.

It happens.

Trust God to take care of this crazy divers world He's created. He's got this. He does.

We are merely called to sow where seeds need to be sowed and harvest the fields that need harvesters.

That's it.

This rest is just chaff in the wind.

Yet, when I surveyed all that my hands had done, and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after he wind; nothing was gained under the sun. Ecc. 2:11

Wonderment Wednesday- This Is Our God

2010-09-08T07:41:00.000-05:00

Today, I want to share this song with you. It seems to go along with the theme God's been speaking to my heart about chasing after Him.

"And I will fall at your feet.

I will fall at your feet

And i will worship you here"

Because He is great and worty of our praises!

(turn off the music at the sidebar and enjoy)

Come. Just come...

2010-09-06T07:06:00.005-05:00

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with
me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk
with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythm of grace.
I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and
you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
Matthew 11:28-30 MSG
I’d posted this for my Wonderment Wednesday and it’s been with me all week. When I read Eugene Peterson’s version of this popular scripture, it felt like I was reading a letter penned from Jesus himself. That’s why I prefaced WW with, “My Dear Child—”

Can you hear him ask, “Are you tired, dear one? Weary? Frustrated?”

“Yeah, I am. Sometimes I wonder where I’ll get the energy to face another stinking day.”

“Are you tired of boring, condemning, check-the-box-off religion? Do you dread going to church every Sunday? Do you make yourself go because it’s what you think is the right thing to do? Or do you avoid it all together because you’re afraid? You fear that you won’t measure up. Fear you’re there under false pretenses? Fear… just fear?”

I’m sitting here, typing these words and thinking to myself, “Yeah, sometimes I really do, Lord. Sometimes I’d rather not go at all. What does that say about me?”

Shame and guilt inevitably follows such an admission. We’re supposed to rejoice in the Lord’s Day. Relish going to worship together and congregate with other believers.

Then why don’t I? Why is it so easy to lose my joy?

Yet it’s not Jesus’ voice of condemnation. It’s not. He doesn’t say, “Well, get a grip, you loser! You’re living in sin, so what do you expect?” He doesn’t even say, “Well, you’re not trying hard enough, you need to put more effort into it!”

No, he says none of those things.
Instead…
“Come to me, my love. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.”

He invites us in.
No blaming. No chastising. No kicking you when you’re down.

Nope, none of that.

“Come,” he says. “Let me help you recover your life. I will give you rest from your worries, fears, shortcomings… My yoke is easy-peasy. This isn’t meant to be hard.”

Can you hear His enticing invitation in this passage? Can you?

But— you may argue. You don’t know what/ where/ who… I am.

To this, I think of…
Peter the loudmouth, bumbling fisherman.
Paul the Christian killer
Matthew... who copied down Jesus’ words… the cheating tax collector.

Let’s go back even further,
Moses the excuse maker.
Jonah the runner.
Gideon the hider.
Ezekiel… well he was just crazy, don’t you think?
David has a track record a mile long.

Do I really need to go on?
God isn’t into picking ready-made great people to increase His kingdom. God is into picking losers.
Losers that he wants to make into great leaders.

And He does it His way. In His time. Sometimes in ways that make absolutely no sense.
He builds a church upon the bumbling. Spreads his word through the cheat and the persecutor. He’ll make great leaders from the fearful, the failures, and the flunkies. And I know he can do marvelous things with the odd-balls as well.

Come on. We’ve done the best we can with the skills and talents we possess. What more might we accomplish by inviting Him in and learning His ways.

Jesus beckons, “Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythm of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Freely and light? Is it possible? Can it be true? Can it really be so easy?

What harm will come from giving it a try?

Jesus, I’m reaching out, placing my hand in yours. I’m afraid sometimes. I think you have no idea what you’re getting yourself into with me. I can be a real mess. But I hear you calling. I want what you have. I want it real bad. Lead me. Come on, let’s go!

Wonderment Wednesday - Matthew 11

2010-09-01T05:37:00.000-05:00

A note to you for today,

Dear child--
Are you tired?

Worn out?

Burned out on religion?

Come to me.

Get away with me and you'll recover your life.

I'll show you how to take a real rest.

Walk with me and work with me-- watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.

Love,

-Jesus

from Matthew 11:28-30

A New Thing

2010-08-27T06:34:00.003-05:00

I wanted to give an update on what's been going on with my job situation.

God works all things out for the good, time and time again.

I've began a side venture, focusing more on my writing. It's tugging at me again, that need to create, to say something. So I've decided to give the next year to putting 100% into making a living at writing. I'm learning to do freelance magazine writing, and continue to work on my novels. And I'm chronicling my journey along the way.

On the sidebar is a picture of my laptop and a link to my new site, Jackie Castle's Story. You'll see a lighter side of me as I talk about this new crazy venture I find myself on.

In the meantime, I told you last week that I was going to be able to substitute. Well, I'm official now, with a badge and a long-term job. So the next couple of months will be interesting. I'm praising God that he's made a way that I can pay my bills while I work toward my writing goal.

I hope you'll stop by my writing site and see what I'm up to.
I'm still here, though, sitting under my quiet tree, listening to Holy Whispers teach. I can't do anything without Him and His guidance. It all starts at the foot of the tree.

Blessings,
J.

Wanted to share this video while you're here. I love this song. And I'm glad that no matter what's going on, I have a closest friend until the bitter end. Enjoy!

Wonderment Wednesday: 1 John 3

2010-08-25T06:32:00.006-05:00

My dear children,

Let's not just talk about love, let's practice real love.

This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality.

It's also the way to shut down debilitating, self-criticism, even when there is something to it.

For God is greater

than our worried hearts

and knows more about us than we do ourselves.

And friends, once that's taken care of and we're no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we're bold and free before God!

1 John 3:18-21 MSG